how to make a proper apology: a thread for... haha well.. i won’t name any names

1. assess the situation.
what is your apology for? is it for something minor such as a slip up, was it for something that you’ve continuously been doing, or something that was highly offensive and wrong? make sure to ask yourself this to know how best to address the situation!

2. know that apologies are meant for accountability, not for acceptance. when making an apology, go into it with THIS mindset. not everyone is going to accept your apology and they don’t have to either. no one owes you any form of acceptance and you have to accept and know that.

3. address the situation. make sure to make it clear that you know what you’re apologizing for. CLEARLY state the situation. if you say something along the lines of “many of you heard what i did”, etc., then a lot of people will have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

4. express remorse. this is the part where you say something such as “i’m sorry” or” i want to apologize for-” etc. this is what makes it an actual apology. without some form of remorse for your actions it isn’t even an apology at all.

5. take responsibility. if you blatantly deny your actions or jump to your own defense, (ex: “i’m sorry but i’m not ______!”), it makes it less of an apology and more of a justification. you can say “i didn’t know/mean to” but you still need to address that you DID hurt someone.

6. NO GUILT TRIPPING! do NOT make yourself the victim in any way. if you try and make people feel bad for you by bringing in unrelated things or excuses, than that is guilt tripping. it makes your apology seem completely meaningless or like a justification for your actions.

7. promise to change. this is the sincerity part. promise to educate yourself or to learn from your mistakes (DO NOT ask people to educate you). clearly state how you will change your actions/behavior. “i won’t do it again” is ok in some situations, but not enough in others.

8. learn from your mistake. even with all of the steps listed above, if you don’t ACTUALLY change your actions/behavior, then your entire apology is completely meaningless. hold yourself accountable in every situation and make sure you stay true to the promise of your words.

end of thread. /srs