Hi, I'm a girl.

My name used to be Samuel Elliot.

I used to have an enormous beard.

I fathered a child.

I've sung tenor and bass.

My body hair used to be like a forest.

I played on boys' sports teams as a kid.

But I'm a girl.

My names, appearance, relationships, and social roles have changed since I came out as transgender.

They align more, now, with who I really am.

It's such a relief.

And I'm so relieved and looking forward to these things continuing to change to better align with who I am.

I don't know who needs to hear this.

But the fact that I used to have a boy's name doesn't mean I'm a boy.

The fact that I used to have a beard doesn't mean I'm a boy.

The fact that I've previously been treated, socially, as a boy doesn't mean that I'm a boy.

The fact that I (for now) have a penis doesn't mean I'm a boy.

I'll say that again.

The fact that I (for now) have a penis doesn't mean I'm a boy.

I am not defined by my genitals. Even if, for most of my life, society named and shaped and treated me based on my genitals.

I'm a girl.

My name is Samantha Elisheva (Shuli Elisheva in Hebrew).

I keep my face smooth.

I'm a mom.

I'm training my voice to sing more femininely.

I'm undergoing body hair-removal.

My friends, family, and colleagues call me a girl.

But none of that makes me a girl.

I don't understand the scientific complexity of sex and gender.

I'm not sure anyone really does.

I didn't choose to be a girl.

I didn't choose to be transgender.

In fact, I didn't want it. I fought it. I denied it. I tried to ignore it.

The first thing I googled, after finally realizing I might not be cisgender, was:

"What if I don't want to be transgender?"

I am a girl.

It is wired into my body.

My body was born with mixed signals. It produced male organs. But it also, for whatever reason, is also so fundamentally female that I suffered such emotional torture and anguish until finally accepted this truth that I am a girl.

My current feminine name and appearance don't make me a girl any more than my previous masculine name and appearance made me a boy.

I am taking actions to make my name, appearance, and other aspects of my life align with the fact of my being a girl.

But regardless, I'm a girl.

I don't know who needs to hear this.

But if it's you, please know:

Gender is not defined by genitals alone.

Nor is it a choice.

It is deeply embedded, somehow, in our bodies in ways that still have yet to be scientifically understood.

Being transgender is not a choice.

It is a biological/genetic/etc fact of our existence that can either be accepted or denied, but it's still a fact.

Even if we don't yet understand it.

Hi, I'm a girl.

My name used to be Samuel Elliot.

I used to have an enormous beard.

I fathered a child.

I've sung tenor and bass.

My body hair used to be like a forest.

I played on boys' sports teams as a kid.

But I have ALWAYS been a girl.

I'm only just now living it.