Read on Twitter
Dairies of a Retired Hoe Chapter VII
How I failed the streets coz I let my cousin almost chaw my guza.
THREAD.............
How I failed the streets coz I let my cousin almost chaw my guza.
THREAD.............
The year is 2015, paja ninshi ine vabu hule hule tesana. Let's just say I was once faithful to the girl I was dating at that time. You know ivi vima bottle experience. Hectic right? 
So in my first semester of school I met this girl. We'll call her failed experiment 101.
So in my first semester of school I met this girl. We'll call her failed experiment 101.
We happened to be in the same classroom and we became friends. The girl was smart & I was intrigued by her intelligence, but hey there was nothing I could do coz at this time I'm in a bottle. Fast-forward what baby did to her ka bottle coz me & exp 101 became fond of each other,
went out on dates a couple of times & at one moment we got drunk and kissed. Need I mention I liked this girl but I Loved my girlfriend. pali difference.
On one fateful night, this girl and her friends wanted to go out but I was broke like a civil servant who just got a loan to
On one fateful night, this girl and her friends wanted to go out but I was broke like a civil servant who just got a loan to
buy a fourth hand car just so he doesn't feel left out kumoba. Be that as it may, I had buyers who would buy the whole bar for so long as there are girls to keep them company while they sip on their favorite beverages. So I went and picked the girls up, they were 6 in total.
They girls wanted to go ku Hollywood kaili you know paja Jungle yenze kuchitika so holywood it was. Guys tifika che tili muli scandal. I don't remember much from there, all I remember is my cousins wanted to bully this ka short guy who ended up singling out our strongest guy.
This Short guy pulled my cousin from his belt and punched him. My cousin had never felt so disrespected in his life like that coz hey, you don't pull a man from his belt. That's what helps him cover his manhood which holds all his generations to come. That's just an insult coz
all his future Drs, Presidents, Lawyers etc bali mu musana. unless otherwise you've jerked off all the good ones and you are only remaining with security guards mortuary attendants and thieves
Don't forget about all the teachers and nurses you left muma condom
Don't forget about all the teachers and nurses you left muma condom
PS: No disrespect to the foregoing professions.
Fastfoward, we left holywood and went to Northmead. Upon reaching nanga ba buyer sibanachinje nzelu and started vibing my girl. Ala ninatumiwa ku counter iyo day just so the niqqa could have a chance with experiment 101. Ine in my
Fastfoward, we left holywood and went to Northmead. Upon reaching nanga ba buyer sibanachinje nzelu and started vibing my girl. Ala ninatumiwa ku counter iyo day just so the niqqa could have a chance with experiment 101. Ine in my
head I was like ah, I'll take it like a man, moreover I know these girls, they are just here for fun, these niggas won't smash, little did I know that money has a way of making this happen.
Ine coming back from the counter only to find exp 101 has switched seats.
Ine coming back from the counter only to find exp 101 has switched seats.
She's now sitting next to my cousin, nati wanya this won't end well so I just decided to walk out of the club and took long to go back in. Niggas started getting worried and came looking for me. My same cousin found me outside. I asked him what are you doing? He was like she said
ahe ain't your girl. I was like niqqa so? He said " I've even kissed her pantu, just forget iwe takunyonga" Things went crazy to a point where I almost fought my cousin. The girl came out and these were her exact words. "Niqqa you are just my friend, moreover you never mentioned
it to me that you liked me. wenzo funa ninusnhe mu mpepo ati Jeff anikonda."
This girl just added salt to the wound, so I said a lot of shit concluded with " don't you get it? the only reason I've not fucked you is because you are my friend and I care about you, you must be
This girl just added salt to the wound, so I said a lot of shit concluded with " don't you get it? the only reason I've not fucked you is because you are my friend and I care about you, you must be
thankful for that." & that's how I went home. I reached home, got my tuma blankets from my bedroom and took the couch coz I knew my cousin's intentions with her and I couldn't save her any more. Fast forward my two cousins came back home and exp 101 was with them and another
friend of hers. I just laughed to myself and said this will be interesting. She went to my bedroom with him and just after 5 minutes or so she came out upset. I pretended to be sleeping so she woke me up and said I wanna go home. I'm like " yo I didn't bring you here, didn't even
intend to, tf you mean you wanna go home?" She said listen I'm sorry, I didn't know he just wanted to sleep with me. I laughed out loud & told her that "my family is like the English Premier League, we have no Messi. kuno tula doda. what did you expect he wanted? Ati I thought he
serious about me" Nati are you serious? You think this is Telemundo? I told the guza, this is 03:00hrs I can't take you home my car is down. The only person namotoka pano is my cousin. So I went to my cousin nati give your keys I take these girls home, his response was
I told the guza, this is 03:00hrs I can't take you home my car is down. The only person namotoka pano is my cousin. So I went to my cousin nati give your keys I take these girls home, his response was
Balayenda
I came back and said he has refused, just wait for an hour I'll book a cab for you you can sleep on that couch I'll use this other one. She said no, let's share this same one & so we did. She then started making endless apologies & so I shut her up with a kiss.
I came back and said he has refused, just wait for an hour I'll book a cab for you you can sleep on that couch I'll use this other one. She said no, let's share this same one & so we did. She then started making endless apologies & so I shut her up with a kiss.
after we posed she asked me, how will I know if you just don't want to use me like him? I laughed and said, my friend, tonight is not the night you get fucked coz had it been, you would have been naked by now so just sleep. Imwe guys just after 2 minutes my other cousin from the
other bedroom came out grasping for breath
Nati iwe nichani? He was like where the fuck did you get this girl from? Nati why? Ati she choked me hard, she was on top and strangled me.
Ine thinking nima jokes, the girl came out and said ah sibaziba tuntu twa new aba
Nati iwe nichani? He was like where the fuck did you get this girl from? Nati why? Ati she choked me hard, she was on top and strangled me.
Ine thinking nima jokes, the girl came out and said ah sibaziba tuntu twa new aba
Nati eh? Ni 50 shades? ati something like that .
so we all had a light moment & at 05:00hrs my cousin gave me the keys and I took the girls back ku BH.
The END........
.so we all had a light moment
& at 05:00hrs my cousin gave me the keys and I took the girls back ku BH.The END........
PS: this thread was done in a hurry
