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If you "don't agree" w/someone else's identity, please follow this nifty set of instructions:
1. Mind your own business
2. Meditate on this fact: you don't get a vote in anyone else's identity
3. Continue minding your own business
4. That's it! Just mind your own business.
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1. Mind your own business
2. Meditate on this fact: you don't get a vote in anyone else's identity
3. Continue minding your own business
4. That's it! Just mind your own business.
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There's a lot of back and forth about what identities are "okay" and "valid," and always - always! - this comes down to "but this identity causes a negative reaction from the allocishet majority!"
"Bi lesbians make men think they can have access to lesbians!"
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"Bi lesbians make men think they can have access to lesbians!"
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"Microidentities make cis people not take us seriously!"
"You need dysphoria to be trans, or the cis won't take us seriously!"
"Leather daddies at Pride aren't acceptable to allocishets, & anyway, think of the children!"
Kind of a theme here, & that's where it all breaks down.3/
"You need dysphoria to be trans, or the cis won't take us seriously!"
"Leather daddies at Pride aren't acceptable to allocishets, & anyway, think of the children!"
Kind of a theme here, & that's where it all breaks down.3/
To explain why deciding who is "valid" according to what is accepted by allocishets doesn't work, I have provided this handy chart sorting acceptable and unacceptable identities for your convenience. The "unacceptable" identities are shown in green.
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Even if you got a vote in someone else's identity (you don't), the idea that we should decide which parts of our community are "okay" based on the thoughts of our literal oppressors is the most ASS-BACKWARDS, UPSIDE-DOWN, INSIDE-OUT FOOLISH BULLSHIT which has ever been thought.5/
I can't even be my usual semi-witty self about that, because it is SO fucked up.
Queer liberation does not come from us shaving down our community and chucking the neoidentities and he/him lesbians and non-dysphoric trans people and and and out into the cold.
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Queer liberation does not come from us shaving down our community and chucking the neoidentities and he/him lesbians and non-dysphoric trans people and and and out into the cold.
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The pacification of the allocishets by continually trying to make ourselves look Most Respectable?
Yeah, I've got a book about that!
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Yeah, I've got a book about that!
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Whatever we give up, whatever we trade away, it won't ever be enough, there will always be something else we just have to do in order to make ourselves sufficiently respectable.
This is because there's no ACTUAL intention to allow us to live full, complete, QUEER lives.
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This is because there's no ACTUAL intention to allow us to live full, complete, QUEER lives.
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Pacification is not the way to queer liberation.
We will not get there by throwing our fellow queers under the bus.
We will not get there by debating over the validity of other people's self-labeling.
We will only get there by celebrating our diverse strength.
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We will not get there by throwing our fellow queers under the bus.
We will not get there by debating over the validity of other people's self-labeling.
We will only get there by celebrating our diverse strength.
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We will only get there by learning the words "I don't get it, but I'm glad you've found language that helps you communicate who you are!"
We will only get there by demanding a seat at the table for all of us.
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We will only get there by demanding a seat at the table for all of us.
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And look - that doesn't mean that you can't create a space that's solely for, oh, let's say, from random example, binary trans men who experience dysphoria and are going through medical transition.
There can be value in that space, if that space is intended...
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There can be value in that space, if that space is intended...
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... for reasons other than "ew, non-binary people are icky and I don't wanna!"
A space to discuss the unique experiences of a subgroup can have value.
"Ew, non-binary people are fakers!" sounds a lot like "DON'T LET TRANS WOMEN IN THE BATHROOM WITH ME, THEY'RE GROSS!"
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A space to discuss the unique experiences of a subgroup can have value.
"Ew, non-binary people are fakers!" sounds a lot like "DON'T LET TRANS WOMEN IN THE BATHROOM WITH ME, THEY'RE GROSS!"
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And ... that's bc that's basically what's happening: enbyphobia is just binary trans people externalizing their transphobia &pushing it onto a target they deem acceptable, & also playing a big ol' game of Pick Me for the allocishets.
Protip: the allocishets won't pick you. 13/
Protip: the allocishets won't pick you. 13/
It doesn't matter how many of your fellow queers you throw under the bus, you will always, always be a queer to them - nothing more.
You will not be accepted. You will at best be tolerated.
And let me be clear: this is not hypothetical.
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You will not be accepted. You will at best be tolerated.
And let me be clear: this is not hypothetical.
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RIGHT NOW, we are watching the rollback of LGBTQ+ rights. We are watching the Supreme Court signaling they're ready to rip marriage equality out of our hands.
And NOW is when people wanna play this game??
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And NOW is when people wanna play this game??
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You are not going to be awarded the below item for tossing your fellow queers to the wolves.
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Your rights get stripped just as easily as a purple-haired non-binary xe/xem bi lesbian's, and the sooner you get your head around that fact, the better off you'll be.
Hell, the better off we'll all be.
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Hell, the better off we'll all be.
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