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The gorgeous boardroom at Tanishq was evidently awaiting the members, for there was a steaming kettle and elegant rows of Tetley teabags, including green and decaf which were favorites; a pot of hot Eight O'Clock coffee; and plastic bottles of Himalayan.
The meeting commenced.*
The meeting commenced.*
“Good morning everyone! I have a hard-stop in 15 minutes, so let’s start. The festive season is a low-hanging fruit. We need a paradigm shift in our jewelry line.”
“Absolutely, and we should actionize the idea with an advertising campaign pronto!”
“Absolutely, and we should actionize the idea with an advertising campaign pronto!”
“What should we name it?”
“A fusion, like our line for wedding, Rivaah — Rivaaz and Vivaah?”
“Nah! We have to think outside the box. We have done that already — there’s Tanishq, no? Tan plus ishq!”
“Er…that’s tan plus nishk, and nishk, as you know, means a golden ornament.”
“A fusion, like our line for wedding, Rivaah — Rivaaz and Vivaah?”
“Nah! We have to think outside the box. We have done that already — there’s Tanishq, no? Tan plus ishq!”
“Er…that’s tan plus nishk, and nishk, as you know, means a golden ornament.”
“I know, but why do you think we used the cultural framework of changing k to q?”
“I thought it was just a blue-sky design thinking to balance the symmetry of the…oh! Now I get it! Very sophisticated!”
“I thought it was just a blue-sky design thinking to balance the symmetry of the…oh! Now I get it! Very sophisticated!”
“Consider this — we want hospitals, they're bigots; we want schools, they're misogynists; we want secularism, they're Sanghis; we want freedom of speech, they're trolls! Our blue ocean leverage should be unity!”
“I think it’s a win-win. What do we name it? How about…Unitishq?”
“I think it’s a win-win. What do we name it? How about…Unitishq?”
“Nah, sounds like a unit of Ishq...the only reason I love that movie is Aamir.”
“Itehad!”
“It rhymes with Love…wait, I have a disruptive idea. Hey Siri! What’s Sanskrit for Unity?”
~I am not sure what you mean by ‘What’s Sanskrit for Unity?’ Should I touch base with Klingon?~
“Itehad!”
“It rhymes with Love…wait, I have a disruptive idea. Hey Siri! What’s Sanskrit for Unity?”
~I am not sure what you mean by ‘What’s Sanskrit for Unity?’ Should I touch base with Klingon?~
“Never mind, Siri."
"Sanskrit?"
"Here's the best...Ekatvam."
“If unity is the leverage then we must use English, or better, Urdu.”
“Ah! You see, by moving the goalpost to Sanskrit we are emphasizing that the onus of unity falls upon the Sang…I mean, the majority.”
“Genius!”
"Sanskrit?"
"Here's the best...Ekatvam."
“If unity is the leverage then we must use English, or better, Urdu.”
“Ah! You see, by moving the goalpost to Sanskrit we are emphasizing that the onus of unity falls upon the Sang…I mean, the majority.”
“Genius!”
So, after the name has been finalized the ad agency is given an elevator pitch for the ad campaign, with related words such as unity and emotion, and unrelated words such as Ganga and Jamuni.
In the subsequent meeting the final ad is shown and the members debate on the approval.
In the subsequent meeting the final ad is shown and the members debate on the approval.
“Elegant! I love the warm, off-white, minimalist, Kerala tones.”
“At a 40000-feet level, don’t you think we are veering into religion?”
“It was on my radar too, but it’s a great ad. What's there to outrage about?”
“Why not something less interfaith? It doesn’t seem scalable.”
“At a 40000-feet level, don’t you think we are veering into religion?”
“It was on my radar too, but it’s a great ad. What's there to outrage about?”
“Why not something less interfaith? It doesn’t seem scalable.”
“We have values at Tanishq — they are paramount and more important than festive seasons and sentiments.”
“All I am saying is that the ad may backfire. Let’s not boil the ocean. The festivals are around, and there are some news reports I have read…it could be just bad timing.”
“All I am saying is that the ad may backfire. Let’s not boil the ocean. The festivals are around, and there are some news reports I have read…it could be just bad timing.”
“What news reports? I haven't read any. Let’s not throw the baby out with bath water.”
“That’s because you watch only NDTV and India Today.”
“Who else is neutral, my friend? Do you watch anything else? Come, confess!”
“I still think it’s a bad idea. We may lose the mindshare.”
“That’s because you watch only NDTV and India Today.”
“Who else is neutral, my friend? Do you watch anything else? Come, confess!”
“I still think it’s a bad idea. We may lose the mindshare.”
“Are you questioning our corporate values and our philosophy?”
“Look, I am all aligned with our core competencies. You know what? Let’s get the ball rolling, and streamline the synergy of the messaging that connects the dots with Ekatvam.”
“Release the Kraken...er, the ad!” //
“Look, I am all aligned with our core competencies. You know what? Let’s get the ball rolling, and streamline the synergy of the messaging that connects the dots with Ekatvam.”
“Release the Kraken...er, the ad!” //
*The thread is based on my blog, The Mithyātva of Ekatvam, which was based on my podcast of the same name. It's a fusion of corporate jargon and corporate social activism.
It's funny how nowadays I go from Twitter to podcast to blog to Twitter. Let's circle back on that one. ||
It's funny how nowadays I go from Twitter to podcast to blog to Twitter. Let's circle back on that one. ||
