I've had 3mg of Xanax and an entire bottle of wine (not in one go but over the course of several hours), and it's only barely calmed me down. I wanted to pass out peacefully, but I'm not even close to wasted. I'm still wired up. I hate my body.

Ok if this last Xanax I just took doesn't gently black me out, I don't know what I'm going to do other than being really upset about wasting so much drugs and alcohol

Holy fuck guys it's been an hour and I'm far from sober but that combination of drugs should have me drooling in a coma for several days. Why can't I turn my brain off? Why don't drugs work on my body chemistry? I just need a fucking release fuck.

All right. I don't want to use up my other bottle of wine yet. And I fear that another Xanax might actually have me in the danger zone. I found something else that might push me over the edge but probably not. But I'm pretty sure I could still pass a fucking field sobriety test

Feel I should reassure the zero people reading this thread that I do not in fact regularly load myself with toxic amounts of multiple drugs. But I'm about to do the most guilt-inducing thing I've ever done in my life and I require chemical assistance.