I& #39;ve noticed that consciousness recedes when I& #39;m deep in a coding phase, many back-to-back days in flow. My mind narrows to tunnel-vision, fixated on the software and its issues. My sense of self shrinks; non-code ideas cease to arise; I get less curious; writing yields little.

It& #39;s an odd feeling: flow is experientially satisfying, but the creeping self-abnegation is worrying. I also notice it takes quite a while to "reset" from this phase, to start hearing myself think again, to feel like less of an automaton.

I don& #39;t experience this feeling when I spend many days back-to-back in flow doing other work: developing an idea, writing, designing. I wonder if it& #39;s bc those activities are more creative, involve more reflective thought. Or maybe it& #39;s that I& #39;m worse at them—so flow& #39;s less deep!

Also, I haven& #39;t noticed this much until last year. Hypotheses: a) didn& #39;t happen before b/c I rarely stayed in flow for days at a time working on a team; b) I only notice it now b/c I& #39;ve become more self aware; c) I only notice it now b/c I value insight more and execution less?

One alternative ofc is to not get so deep into flow when building stuff. I& #39;ve tried that (accidentally and intentionally); it does avoid the self-abnegation issue. But then I get frustrated because projects take non-linearly longer to finish, and it feels like they drag on. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷‍♂️" title="Achselzuckender Mann" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckender Mann">

Wrote this thread as I was preparing to “reset” after finishing a large implementation milestone. Now on the road for the week to recover my mind. Beautiful sunrise at Bryce this morning!