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i have (shockingly) never seen buffy the vampire slayer, so thjs will be where i scream about it
ohmygod that intro with the voice over THIS IS OOZING 90s nostalgia i feel like someone just hit me over the head with a vhs player okay i’m already sold
i can’t escape these plagues
i want to spit on giles, but like h word
ah yes, Sprung Monkey, indie darling of the 90s
“mouth of hell? THATS WHAT I CALL M-“
*i am immediately shot dead by the fbi agents hiding in my phone*
*i am immediately shot dead by the fbi agents hiding in my phone*
it’s almost impressive in a sad way that joss wheedon still writes dialogue the same as he did almost 30 years ago, like some of these scenes could just word for word be scenes from the avengers
willow gets me
jesse also gets me
these vampires have names like Luke and Colin and it’s Sending Me
nice
the butt rock playing in the background is incredible
this fight scene choreography is absolute perfection i feel like i’m watching a high school play and i love it
every 3 seconds there’s a witty one liner like this and i can’t help but laugh at each and every one
xander is one of the dolls
giles reminds me so much if paul bettany as vision that i literally can’t believe it’s a coincidence, like Joss just loves a tall dorky brit (and so do i god forgive me)
*panic chord intensifies*
FUCK OFF WHAT
The Shape of Water (2017)
wait never mind maybe this is gonna be more like A Bugs Life (1998)
this is how i used to bounce back from a bender
“JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!” 
scariest part of this isn’t even the crickets in the sandwich, if i see someone fold their sandwich and eat it from the middle like this i know that person is 
% a serial killer
% a serial killer
hate when i’m on a date and this happens
h word
“SHE-MANTIS” THATS THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH AGAHATVAJATAGS LMFAOOOOO
i can’t put my finger on it, but something about the buffy intro just feels so incredibly anime
love getting clocked when i’m just trying to depression read in the corner at the park
BARS
e-girl and her podcaster boyfriend
hardest mosh call of 1997
this line made me violently emotional in ways i wasn’t expecting
the high schooler to hyena furry pipeline
maybe it’s just the campy high school 90s vibe, but so much of this show feels like it’s shot just like power rangers
LETSFUCKINGGOOOOO 90S DODGEBALL SCENE
this is actually extremely unsettling, there’s like electric guitar mixed with what can best be described as “jungle music” and hyena laughs and you can see people’s mouths moving but not sound and no one yelling or making like any noise at all this is shot so strangely
why did this dodgeball game have the same auditory direction as the opening to saving private ryan when tom hanks gets shell shocked
holy shit holy shit i am LOSING IT
“He's behind me making that fucking face again. I don't even have to turn around to know it. God damn it. I hate that goddamned stupid face he makes. God fucking dammit.”
some of these vampires look more like klingons i’m just saying
angel is every 90s tropey red flag stereotype it’s so hamfisted and i love (hate?) it
GAHATAGAHHAHAHS SHE SAID DONT BRING A STAKE TO A GUNFIGHT AGAHATAGHAAAHAHAHAHAHA
h
“turn on, tune in, jack off” or whatever timothy leary said
vice news whenever people bring up their roots
oh my god
yes
giles was ahead of his time
freudian slip? whedonian slip?
you look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t a fucking power ranger villain
YOOOOOO PRINCIPAL QUARK!!!!!!
they say the feud goes back generations
kids at this school die like redshirts on TOS and its so funny
take a shot every time joss whedon does weird mother stuff
i must not fear, fear is the mind killer......
we call this the roasting philosophy
the duality of himbos
this is how it feels logging into twitter most days
It (2017)
man,
i uhh... may have just learned something about myself
Face/Off (1997)
quarantine day ???
man i really thought they were gonna play it off as comic relief for longer but they really went whole hog with the “xander friend zone” and then xander making buffy to be in the wrong for saying no schtick wow that was cringe to watch
i even miss punk houses 
wait it’s like an actual Thing™ ??? damn what that hellmouth do 
okay s1 down that was a lot of fun, the overarching baddie was silly but like most shows that do monster of the week for the first season or so i always end up enjoying that more than like the Plot. this show is good, joss whedon is still a putz, and i’m gonna make out with giles
it’s true, this has been a bullshit of a summer
there have been no subtitles for this bands performance so i have to assume this is a cocteau twins cover band
hard to show in screenshots, but the fight choreography is already noticeably better
it might be a little cheesy and i’m the nose, but damn if destroying the object of your trauma doesn’t hit home a little too hard
oh no giles is doing the super silly “iN eVeRy GeNeRaTiOn tHeRe iS a cHoSeN oNe” intro now? i kinda liked the amateur motor cross announcer more for just that part specifically 
the same picture twice
“i’ve academically studied punk”
someone make me a giles dating sim for uhm,,, science of course
that’s *sports* baby
this is a very normal thing that people are constantly saying all the time
when you get the high score in the Giles dating sim
“Welcome to the House of Quark!”
gonna start greeting people like,
i just know he’s got a *** ***
mr. big **** has entered the ring
every band that plays at the bronze is a 10/10
waiting in line for IML and texting with who’s inside and who’s still in line
spike really came into this episode, swung around some meat, killed the anointed kid, and said “ALRIGHT REDO NOW WE GOT SOME PLOT BAYBEEE!!”
this is one of the darkest jokes this show has made holy shit
SETH GREEN HAS ENTERED THE FUCKING CHATROOM 
i really gotta say one of my favorite things about this show has to that every scene has everyone in different outfits and willow and buffy always look so cool
