While participating in a zoom call with colleagues meant to highlight ways to prioritize physician wellness in the time of COVID, I added to the chat: “What I find most difficult is mitigating the impact of COVID and racism simultaneously.” 1/8

The attendants were mainly White, the session was led by a White Man - all individuals I had the pleasure of working with over several years - and the comment went unnoticed. 2/

Everyone contd to type and speak up about waking up at 6AM for that morning run and prioritizing physical activity, yoga and healthy cooking as if the comment wasn’t there. 3/

I sat in silence and had to accept: “This is a space for Whiteness - not for you.” 4/

One dear friend unmuted herself to say: “Pat also mentioned something incredibly important in the chat...” and began to do the work allies do - legitimize my words and feelings as a Blk Woman in a White Space. Another friend chatted me privately. 5/

This moment of needing my experience to be legitimized by two White Women was painful and caught me off guard. I began to tear up and quickly shut off my camera. 6/

Even after being highlighted by a White Ally, the conversation continued without any acknowledgement of the stress of racism. It was a sharp reminder of how much time I spend in white centered spaces. The BLM badge buddies can’t fix this. 7/

The irony of suffering a microaggression - a clear obstacle to my wellness - while sitting on a zoom about wellness was also not lost on me. I gathered myself, turned my camera back on and kept it moving. FIN #BlackWomenMatter #BlackWomeninMedicine #BlackMedTwitter

So appreciative of the support and empathy garnered by this thread. Makes me hopeful...