hi everyone, in this thread I would like to post my favorite comments from the stata message board’s user wishlist for the next version of stata, which is a proprietary statistical software product from 2002 finally catching up to 2006 in the year of our lord 2020

everyone say hi to richard, whose stata subscription that costs at least hundreds of dollars a year is limited to two cores and it’s so much to brag about that it belongs in his post signature

everyone say hello to clyde, who has posted on average nearly 8 times per calendar day since he joined the forum. gotta keep those stats up by being online in the wee hours of a saturday morning

“new to stata 16: a project manager that doesn’t manage anything!”

oh look it’s clyde again, who is more than happy to shell out money for a feature R has had for free since god decided to make sunday a day of rest

“microsoft gave up too easily letting people have more than one spreadsheet open in excel without paying for the privilege, imo” - clyde, probably

do you ever just feel really sad for people sometimes

“Disappointed that the software you paid for can’t do a simple task like easily export to .xlsx with base functions? Easy! Step 1: learn Python...”

this poor soul, who is crying into the void for stata - whose monetization model in large part relies on artificial core limiting - to support GPU processing

lmfaoooooooo

“stata beauty”

oh look, someone who wants ggplot2

(or plotly or literally anything capable of actual modern graphics)

it’s amazing how many people in this thread want... another product

clyde, seen here negotiating with his mom to move his bedtime back half an hour

ten bucks says this person also wants to be able to save a .docx file to the end of an .xlsx file to the end of a .pptx file

don’t even know where to start here

this thread is basically a commercial for R at this point