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Oh man Fairuza Balk, Robin Tunney, and Neve Campbell, fucking ICONIC 90S LADIES RIGHT THERE https://twitter.com/KittenBalerion/status/1317277198559158272
We open with an EXTREMELY 90s cover of "Tomorrow Never Knows" by OUR LADY PEACE oh my god
Robin Tunney plays the girl who is wearing all black because her mom is dead, we know because she sadly places a photo of her mom in a significant spot as she's unpacking from her move to this town
She is frightened by a man holding a snake, just to bring the creepiness. The next day she goes to CATHOLIC school, you can tell by the gigantic crucifix. We immediately see the three witches walking down the hall like they own the place, because of course they do.
Breckin Meyer! I love him! He immediately acts like he's Very Afraid of Fairuza Balk's character Nancy, but it's all a joke. Neve Campbell, whose aesthetic I love because it involves drowning in oversized clothes and hiding from the world, says they need a 4th witch.
We go to French class, where we learn this is LA, because Breckin Meyer says they should be learning "Mexican." We also learn that Robin Tunney's character Sarah can do magic, because she makes a pencil stand on end. Neve Campbell notices too.
Neve says Sarah is obviously their 4th. Later Skeet Ulrich aka "Chris" says that Nancy is a slut and Neve Campbell has burn scars. "And the third one is black," says Kate. (It's Rachel True!) Chris says they're WITCHES.
Robin Tunney has suicide attempt scars on her wrists, which she also had in Empire Records, which is weird
This movie is full of actors I can't quite place, because I grew up in the 90s
The Mean Blonde Girl is just blatantly racist to Rochelle, saying her hair looks like pubic hair and calling her a "negroid." Meanwhile Bonnie's mom is making her get a painful scar treatment, and Nancy's parents are drunk and mean.
Kate says "there is no reason why these girls should NOT do dark magic."
The girls' bond is cemented when Sarah goes on a date with Chris and declines to go back to his house, after which he tells everyone in school she's a lousy lay.
The girls do a ceremony out in the woods that involves them saying they love and trust each other and then kissing each other. This movie is pretty gay, and that's not a complaint
They also drink each others' blood mixed in wine.
The girls do a spell, which works, to make Chris into, like, Sarah's thrall or something. Then they have another extremely gay sleepover. At least two of them are wearing overalls. I love 90s shit.
LESBIAN WITCHES MONTAGE, THIS IS THE BEST SHIT
They all dress like they raided a Hot Topic, except that they basically made Hot Topic what it is by being so ICONIC
Rachel does a spell that makes Mean Blonde Girl's hair fall out and Bonnie gets rid of her scars and starts dressing in little tight white tee shirts like the other girls. I don't know, I liked the baggy look, that was my jam in high school
So the three of them are riding high, but Nancy's not feeling it because her parents still suck. Her stepdad threatens her mom with a belt and she gets angry and he has a heart attack and dies. AWESOME
Turns out he had a giant life insurance policy and THEY RICH NOW. Or at least un-poor!
I did baggy clothes in high school because I didn't WANT dudes to look at me like that, but probably if I felt like I was ugly I would have felt differently. It's scary when dudes suddenly find you attractive in a sexual way, especially when you're ace-spectrum and don't know it
Chris starts stalking Sarah which is the first clue that the spells are gonna start backfiring on them. Sarah goes to the witchy store and talks to the lady there, who I swear I've seen in something before, but like, maybe it's just the 90s again
She tells them that whatever they put into the world they will get back threefold, but Nancy isn't listening because a drawing in a book is moving. She buys the book with her new money.
They Invoke the Spirit, everything gets all wild and Nancy gets struck by lightning. The other girls watch as she WALKS ON WATER
Meanwhile, a bunch of DEAD SHARKS have washed up onto the beach. Did they do that?
Fairuza Balk plays gone-off-the-edge so well. Sarah tries to convince them that they've gone too far, but they laugh at her.
Mean Blonde Girl has lost most of her hair now. She literally asks what she did to deserve it. Chris won't stop calling Sarah, who gives in and says yes to a date.
She tries to convince him that his love isn't real, but be says he's not letting her go now that be has her. He gets aggressive with her as Portishead plays, but she fights him off and runs through the woods.
She tells the girls what happened. Nancy goes to get revenge, even though Sarah says it will just make things worse.
Nancy tries to seduce Chris but he pushes her away. She glamours herself to look like Sarah so he'll sleep with her. Oh shit
The other girls go to stop Nancy from whatever it is she's doing. They find her in bed with Chris, who gasps and says she's a witch. She's like, well yes, obviously.
She says the only reason Chris loves Sarah is because of a spell. Chris says Nancy's just jealous. Nancy calls him nothing, says he only treats women like whores and that stops now, and witches him right out of the window, where he falls... To his death? I think so?
Sarah feels responsible and wears the Overalls of Sadness and Guilt, later seen on Buffy. She does a spell to bind Nancy from doing harm, but then dreams of the three girls attacking her. They find her in the bathroom at school. She says she wants to leave the circle
They say she should think about leaving the school, or the city, or the planet, and that in the old days if a witch betrayed her coven, they'd kill her. This movie is so great
Sarah goes to the woman at the witchy store, who invites her into her inner sanctum, where there's a pentagram on the floor. The woman says Sarah's mom was a witch too. She encourages her to surrender herself to the higher power.
"But it made Nancy crazy." "She takes it to a dark place." Yeah, it's the eyeliner.
Nancy makes Sarah's dad and stepmother leave on a plane, then crashes it. Sarah sees snakes and bugs and rats everywhere. She can't escape.
Nancy shows up and encourages her to kill herself, calling her pathetic. The snakes and rats and bugs are all gone. They were hallucinations. Nancy does not seem to find this comforting.
Er, Sarah. I keep wanting to call her Nancy. Never mind, nobody is paying attention to this thread anyway
Sarah finally invokes the Spirit and makes Bonnie and Rochelle see their own spells visited back upon them: the scars and the hair loss. Nancy is still there, but Sarah is too powerful for her now. She comes out of the mirror and tells Nancy she's in deep shit.
