If you don't get all sweaty when you're cleaning your house, it ain't clean.

Your baseboards are a travesty.

If you've never looked at how dirty your baseboards are, how can I trust the cleanliness of your butthole?

Also, if you never clean out your fridge, you might as well store your food in the trash can.

And don't even come to me about not needing to clean out your freezer because it's cold. Germs can be cold and alive.

The filthy showers that y'all climb into with your naked body...it just makes me shudder. Just old mold and your pussy in the same small enclosed space. No.

And if you think you did the dishes, when you didn't clean the fucking sink after? Sorry but you actually did not do the dishes.

Don't get me started on your sheets. I KNOW how many people I respect artistically that are just rolling around in jizz and dead skin flakes for months. And frankly, it keeps me up at night.