12 years ago when I did teacher training you were encouraged to lay different activities around the room. The children would hunt for their next task. Once found they would accidentally but deliberately learn the thing by recalling the learning objective.

They would then work their way up blooms taxonomy and congratulate each other on creating things of value to other kinesthetic learners in the room. We would praise them for this. The affirmation would feed into a centralised reward system that resulted in a shout out in assembly

You should try to log it on sims or 3sys but it would be stuck on the loading page. I wonder how old those girls are now. Once loaded its secrets protected by a pair of gnomes. Getting useful information out required answering a riddle about which one was not telling the truth.

What was important was to avoid teaching them things. No direct knowledge please. They wouldn't ever need it anyway. Just skills. Especially skills from other subjects, like cross curricular maths. We loved that. And don't speak for more than 8 minutes. They can't listen.

Remember the room is their space, that any confrontations are only a clash of personality and that ultimately if kids are misbehaving it is because lessons are not stimulating enough. Try making everything relatable by using the mobile phone as an example for everything.

If things get ropey press the intervention button. Your screen would lock out "code red" and Margaret would come down and escort the pupil away to the "room". The hope was that the "room" was some barren desert, but it was the only room with better biscuits than the staff room.

Then Margaret would come back with pupil and explain that he had only been disruptive because Sandy, his shoulder partner, had been bullying him about his dad being a bin man. A piercing glance at Sandy and all was forgotten. Until next time, five minutes later.

Then afterwards you would be visited by a really supportive member of the year head team. Kevin from PE. Yeay for the support. And a support plan would be drawn up and everyone would splash around in the warm refreshing waters of that support. Go team.

Look forward to spending time with your favorite students in isolation. Sit in your own booth and wonder about what you had done wrong for the timetabler to treat you so.

Don't ever be alone with a student, prop the door open. If you want to become a good teacher then all you need to do is just see Trevor in Maths. As an AST let's just say that the mere sight of him will make you better.

Please differentiate by activity, select children for each activity with a random number generator multiplied by the square route of the their FFTD score. Then mark their work with three different colour pens.

Know your students. Make sure that all the EAL students and FSM kids are colour coded on your seating plan. Stick the progress of these children on a poster next to the door ready for inspection. Every child matters.

Please follow the lesson plan proforma stored on the T drive and make sure all PowerPoint are tag lined with the trust moto "cool to learn". Expect a mocksted this term. All the straight walls in the corridor are being replaced by a dark purple curving walls.

All books must contain written formative and summative feedback. It needs to be a conversation like social media. Don't add the pupils on social media. Mark all books on a two week cycle. Date and sign every comment. Dont use VFG stamps.

When Ofsted come in, remove unmarked books from the building. Put that in your car. Your lesson can't be graded better than requires improvement because that is reflective of the grade that has been predetermined for the school based on outcomes.

There is a homework timetable. Please only give 30 minutes of homework Tuesday and Thursday of week one and 10 minutes of homework Monday and Tuesday week 2. If you don't see them on those days accept that this was drawn up based on those kids taking further maths.

Performance related pay is going to be a big thing, everybody will have to sign new contracts, but TUPE is more than just a wig. Anybody for voluntary redundancy? We want to become an all through school. Our name has changed to Excellent School Academy.

Please take a high vis vest if you are on the buses. Only the assistant head is allowed to use the megaphone. Would someone please volunteer to replace Karen on car park duty as she has quit. Something about effing BMWs but we are not sure.

Vaping seems like great idea. So much better than smoking. Can't imagine anyone will ever have a problem with Jo and James in year 7 going green in a cloud of white smoke whilst questioning their own life choices.

Please don't reply all to emails Brenda. DON'T ASK REPRO TO DO ANYTHING EXAMS WEEK. Whoever is taking the teaspoons from the staffroom please stop it. Vera on reception has eggs for sale.

Please allocate each underperforming pupil a two minute slot at parents evening. Show parents the graph. Your son should be here. Then point to the zone of lost souls below.

Could I see all the teachers of Maxine in year 8 please. Yeah she has moved to Turkey. The year 6 trip to bounce party has been cancelled as it turns out it isn't a trampoline park.

As part of our wellbeing drive Michelle from drama will be running a workshop on pole dancing for fitness with elements of burlesque. Please sign up below the fire extinguisher training.

Carol the librarian has again found that someone has mixed up the sequence of the Harry Potter books. This is the third time this month. Could we all keep an ear to the ground on this one.

Michelle has asked me to say that the pole dancing is fully booked. If anybody has taken three yellow footballs from the games locker please return them to Kevin immediately. Those were the days. Only COVID to deal with now. We can do this.