my PMDD makes me very apathetic to the people in my life. I forget that I love them and I avoid talking to them - because when I do, I get so angry, and it's irrational anger they do not deserve. This is smth i haven't yet admitted aloud, because only yesterday did I make the -
- connection between it and PMDD. I have a vent entry from 2019, at a time where my PMDD days were dark & desperate, and I didn't understand what was wrong,that says "I forget I am a person who loves. I forget that I love my family and friends, and that they love me in return" -
- and I used to believe myself a terrible person, because how could I not love those who've stood by me? I couldn't make sense of it, because the apathy & resentment used to just... disappear. Unknowing to me it was all because of my period. I have to remember that it's not who-
- I am. I am not a terrible person for it. That I have PMDD, and it is real and scary and awful. But that it will pass, I will come out the other side and I will remember to love again - because really, I never forgot how to.