they said we couldn't do it, but we made it

EPISODE 10 of
a PARISIAN
reviews EMILY IN PARIS

in which I reveal my final assessment of this show, click through to find out

Mindy says she got a job at the drag club

Emily: They know you’re not a drag queen right?
Mindy: I think so!
Mindy: Kidding!

we laugh, because gender

Emily feeds a baguette to seagulls DRINK! She also waves an American and French flag on a boat not sure what that's about but DRINK!

Next step: Emily goes to Model United Nations to beef up her college application letter

Mathieu takes her up to an apartment with THIS view of the Monnaie de Paris, which must mean we are…

Quai des orfèvres, in the judicial police headquarters? Idk about you guys but nothing gets my panties wet like some hot serial killers and a rough garde à vue

Sylvie fires Emily and tells her to pick her stuff up immediately.

Of course, under French labour law none of this possible. I would love to see how this case would play out at the prud'hommes: where was the first blâme? is kissing nephews of designers in her contract? etc

Her colleagues joke that in France it takes ages to fire someone because 'paperwork'. How quaint!

OR MAYBE IDK YOU NEED TO HAVE ACTUAL EVIDENCE TO PROVE SOMEONE HAS NOT DONE THEIR JOB BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR INCOME IN THIS COUNTRY

there is plot, allegedly, but it is easily overshadowed by a sizzling succession of bérets

DRINK! checkered béret, DRINK yellow béret DRINK pink béret, down the bottle! have a shot! it's friday!

Some of you have told me that what's fun in this show is the FASHUN.

Then why am I meant to be gagging at Cadault's imaginary BOLD show which is a very cheap knock-off of Viktor & Rolf printemps-été 2019.

I'm gay, don't play with me, and there are bérets aplenty so I'm wasted

plot twist, plot twist!

Emily doesn't fuck the moderately attractive Mathieu and instead fucks Gabriel who has been dangling in front of us since the first episode! I could definitely not see that one coming!

this is what we get after 10 episodes: she fucked her neighbour

let's wrap up here:

Literally nothing has happened in ten whole episodes. Emily is still content being boring, Sylvie is still angry and Paris is *~Paree*~

Nobody has changed, no character has developed.
Nothing has happened except this final kiss of death: béret with pompon

So let me tell you what I think about this:

This show's portrayal of Paris is unrealistic, classist, racist, delusional and most of all dated, but I don't care.

We don't watch all shows for realism, we can watch them to escape.

But what do we escape to here? A world that is more boring than our own. A world that has been bathed in the highest PH possible so as to become so basic, so colourless and whitewashed that boredom and mediocrity are elevated to core values

Emily in Paris is not a shit show. It's worse.

Shit smells: it has colour, it makes you react.

This show is the vomit of somebody's who's been eating Huel for months - lifeless, grey, bland

I've done these reviews for fun maybe to share a different view of France.

I certainly don't want you to get the impression that you should watch this.

Don’t watch this show, and absolutely don't renew it for a second season.

Darren Star does not need more money, nor does Lily Collins.

This is the gasp of a dying civilization.

Thank you for coming along this journey with me, it's been real.