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Post-Procedure Health + Well-being Thread
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Curious about my health and stuff? Read this thread.
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Curious about my health and stuff? Read this thread.
I went in for the procedure a couple days ago, on the 14th. It went pretty well. I& #39;m pretty healthy according to the doc.
I& #39;ve generally been a pretty healthy kid my whole life, only getting sick every couple years or so. Well... That started to change a lot after last year.
I& #39;ve generally been a pretty healthy kid my whole life, only getting sick every couple years or so. Well... That started to change a lot after last year.
I& #39;ve always struggled with depression and anxiety both, on and off, since I was a little kiddo. It wasn& #39;t until early last year I was actually given a solid diagnosis. For the most part? It just affected me emotionally and mentally. It never really made me PHYSICALLY ill...
...until recently.
As some of you probably are aware, I had a falling out with an extremely close friend late last year. The whole incident was full of confusion, fear, guilt, and misunderstanding. Needless to say, it was emotionally devastating, and I still have trauma from it.
As some of you probably are aware, I had a falling out with an extremely close friend late last year. The whole incident was full of confusion, fear, guilt, and misunderstanding. Needless to say, it was emotionally devastating, and I still have trauma from it.
That was when my physical health took a pretty hard hit, too. I got physically sick from stress several times during the first few weeks following that stuff, and about a month in, tried to OD myself on medication. It tore up my health and emotional stability a LOT.
It wasn& #39;t until earlier this year I finally accepted everything that happened and was able to fully move on. Since then, my emotional and physical well-being were improving a lot. I was social again, working on design, and generally more happy overall again.
But my living situation was holding me back from truly getting better, still.
I suffered from a lot of neglect and emotional abuse from my old household. My step dad would put me down constantly and yell at me, while my mom would just say "don& #39;t worry about it" or "it& #39;s normal"
I suffered from a lot of neglect and emotional abuse from my old household. My step dad would put me down constantly and yell at me, while my mom would just say "don& #39;t worry about it" or "it& #39;s normal"
I was always the well behaved, kindhearted kid, even as a teen. I never had that sense of rebellion a lot of teens do. I just quietly did what I was told and that was that.
So... I started visiting my cousin and uncle a lot more last year and this year.
So... I started visiting my cousin and uncle a lot more last year and this year.
I would tell them about what was happening to me and they told me it was wrong. They provided comfort, but they also just like to hang out and play games or cook stuff. Being in their house was a really, REALLY positive change from being with my parents.
So, shortly after I turned 18 back in June... I was given the choice to move out and live with my cousin and uncle instead of my parents.
I decided it was time to move on from the toxicity of my parents, and I called my mom, telling her my choice...
I decided it was time to move on from the toxicity of my parents, and I called my mom, telling her my choice...
...and she snapped.
She screamed at me. Swore I was ruining her life. Being selfish. Didn& #39;t know what I was doing. Told me I deserve to get hurt and suffer for trying to leave. And it broke me.
My mom was always good to me as a kid, but I just saw the real her for the 1st time.
She screamed at me. Swore I was ruining her life. Being selfish. Didn& #39;t know what I was doing. Told me I deserve to get hurt and suffer for trying to leave. And it broke me.
My mom was always good to me as a kid, but I just saw the real her for the 1st time.
It didn& #39;t hurt as much as the falling out with the friend last year (because that pretty much gave me the same experience), but... It still hurt me a lot.
Following that was months of battling to get my stuff from them, down to basic necessities like legal documents.
Following that was months of battling to get my stuff from them, down to basic necessities like legal documents.
That was when my health took a nosedive, too.
I started getting physically sick way more. Literally couldn& #39;t even get out of bed for a week once a couple months ago because of how bad I felt. THAT was when I started talking to doctors about my health.
I started getting physically sick way more. Literally couldn& #39;t even get out of bed for a week once a couple months ago because of how bad I felt. THAT was when I started talking to doctors about my health.
They decided to do some procedures to see if I have anything super physically wrong with me, and they did... and I& #39;m alright.
I& #39;m fine, really. It seems this is all being caused by an insanely high rush of stress and anxiety without much relief for the past year.
I& #39;m fine, really. It seems this is all being caused by an insanely high rush of stress and anxiety without much relief for the past year.
If you read this far, I just want to say, the lesson I learned is...
You& #39;re going to lose people in life. You& #39;re going to feel betrayed. You& #39;re going to get misunderstood, or potentially even accused of something you would never do. But...
You& #39;re going to lose people in life. You& #39;re going to feel betrayed. You& #39;re going to get misunderstood, or potentially even accused of something you would never do. But...
...you have to live in the present regardless.
I still hold onto the memories I have with that old friend and my mom, despite us not talking anymore, despite how much they did to hurt me. But I also don& #39;t sink myself in sorrow wishing I could go back to those times either.
I still hold onto the memories I have with that old friend and my mom, despite us not talking anymore, despite how much they did to hurt me. But I also don& #39;t sink myself in sorrow wishing I could go back to those times either.
Cherish your friends you have right now, and just enjoy life. Bad days and good days both lie ahead, but... Never, ever let your emotions hurt you physically. Don& #39;t tell yourself that "if you get rid of yourself, people who don& #39;t like you will be happy."
They won& #39;t be.
They won& #39;t be.
