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Suddenly had a vivid mental image of youtuber yoonji could who keeps a regular vlog and ends up having a record of herself from pretransition in university to the present day, 8 years later, when she& #39;s finally able to change her gender marker https://twitter.com/AGUST2_D/status/1317068943236976640">https://twitter.com/AGUST2_D/...
There& #39;s a nearly 2 year gap in the middle when she enlists. Yes the enlistment was only 18 months, but she had a lot of time to think about Being A Man while she was there and finally had to accept the quiet voice telling her that She Was Not, and wasn& #39;t ready to say it +
+ to thousands of followers, but also couldn& #39;t just leave it out. So she waited, found a new doctor in the meantime who was recommended on a trans forum she joined anonymously, and reimagined her whole future.
Part of that, surprisingly, meant reconnecting with a friend she& #39;d +
Part of that, surprisingly, meant reconnecting with a friend she& #39;d +
+ met during enlistment. She& #39;d met a few people she liked, but Seokjin in the next bunk over had always been safe, quiet place for her to retreat to when her mind was too loud. He would share one of his earbuds or sneak her an illicit jelly candy or hum quietly as they went +
+ about their business. It was nice.
He& #39;d also mentioned his cousin, hobi. It wasn& #39;t outright, but yoongi even before she was yoonji could read between the lines and know that hobi at the very least wasn& #39;t straight, and..honestly she couldn& #39;t tell if they were a boy or a girl +
He& #39;d also mentioned his cousin, hobi. It wasn& #39;t outright, but yoongi even before she was yoonji could read between the lines and know that hobi at the very least wasn& #39;t straight, and..honestly she couldn& #39;t tell if they were a boy or a girl +
+ either. Sometimes when jin told stories about them and quoted them, hobi called jin oppa and other times hyung. She desperately wanted to know more, but didn& #39;t want to draw any negative attention to jin. So she soaked in every story about this person who sounded a lot like +
+ her, and held on to the hope that if she ever told jin, he& #39;d embrace her as he& #39;d embraced his cousin.
...
She and jin kept in contact after their service. He got out a month before her, and that last month alone was, frankly, fucking terrible. She& #39;d never felt so alone +
...
She and jin kept in contact after their service. He got out a month before her, and that last month alone was, frankly, fucking terrible. She& #39;d never felt so alone +
+ in her whole life, holding onto such a huge secret without the one person she felt safe sharing it with. She hadn& #39;t even shared it, but she wanted to. And that last month solidified her decision to do so. They got dinner together a few days after jin had gotten out, and +
+ as they were wandering around hongdae with bowls of ice cream from a street vendor, she mustered up her courage.
"I have to tell you something."
Jin paused for a beat. "So serious, yoongi-yah." He was teasing, but she got the feeling it was for her benefit more than +
"I have to tell you something."
Jin paused for a beat. "So serious, yoongi-yah." He was teasing, but she got the feeling it was for her benefit more than +
+ his own. Like he really meant "I& #39;ll listen well no matter what, so you don& #39;t need to worry."
"It& #39;s a little serious."
"Are you confessing your undying love to me?"
She laughed, she couldn& #39;t help it. And she felt a little lighter. Seokjin was great at this. +
"It& #39;s a little serious."
"Are you confessing your undying love to me?"
She laughed, she couldn& #39;t help it. And she felt a little lighter. Seokjin was great at this. +
+ So even if she floundered she trusted he& #39;d take whatever she gave him with grace.
"No, I& #39;m not. I& #39;m..." She swallowed and tried to steady her pounding heart. "Thinking of changing my name."
Another little pause. "Ok... What to?"
He sounded a little confused, but accepting. +
"No, I& #39;m not. I& #39;m..." She swallowed and tried to steady her pounding heart. "Thinking of changing my name."
Another little pause. "Ok... What to?"
He sounded a little confused, but accepting. +
+ "To... To yoonji."
She wasn& #39;t looking at jin, but she heard the rustle of his jacket as he nodded slowly. "That& #39;s a nice name. It suits you."
"I... I think so too. Um... I was thinking about changing some other things too. Uh... Clothes, I found a new doctor..." +
She wasn& #39;t looking at jin, but she heard the rustle of his jacket as he nodded slowly. "That& #39;s a nice name. It suits you."
"I... I think so too. Um... I was thinking about changing some other things too. Uh... Clothes, I found a new doctor..." +
+ God she hoped he could read between the lines.
Seokjin draped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to his side.
"That sounds like a lot of changes. Let oppa know if he can help, ok?"
She really didn& #39;t want to cry. But she definitely cried. Seokjin pulled her +
Seokjin draped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to his side.
"That sounds like a lot of changes. Let oppa know if he can help, ok?"
She really didn& #39;t want to cry. But she definitely cried. Seokjin pulled her +
+ into a little alley off the main street and held her to his chest. She hated that people could see her, that they& #39;d see her as a man crying in the middle of a busy street when it was all because she finally felt so free and so loved. But if anyone had something to say +
+ about it, they didn& #39;t. Maybe Seokjin was glaring at anyone who looked at them. Right on cue, she felt a rumble next to her ear, and after a moment realized he was actually fucking growling at someone. She laughed. Tears were still streaming down her face and she laughed +
+ harder than she& #39;d laughed in months, maybe years, maybe ever in her whole life. She told someone she loved her secret and they loved her so much they growled at a stranger in the middle of hongdae. What even was her life? How did this happen to her? How did she get so lucky?
(full disclosure, I have no idea what I& #39;m doing or where this is going)
(k I need to eat breakfast but I& #39;m gonna come back to this I still have ideas)
