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It& #39;s rare that an @asr_journal article is interesting, deeply uncomfortable, and comedy GOLD all at the same time, but Allison Daminger& #39;s piece on egalitarian couples "de-gendered" division of housework is chef& #39;s kiss perfect https://twitter.com/asr_journal/status/1315651255755304960">https://twitter.com/asr_journ...
"When asked to imagine what would need to change for her partner to take on more cognitive labor, Bridget laughed: & #39;I think his brain would have to be different. Which is not a thing I’m committed to trying to change.& #39;"
"dramatic transformation would be required for [Carla] to reach equality with her husband. When it came to tasks like managing their kindergartener’s wardrobe, she said, & #39;I don’t think he’s capable of thinking about things like [that]—I just don’t think that he works that way.& #39;"
"Heather agreed that although a 50/50 split would be ideal, & #39;That just doesn’t lend itself to our personalities. I’m so much more uptight than he is.& #39;"
“& #39;[Our inequality] is sort of a function of how we are wired as people,& #39; Sharon explained. Yet comparisons within and across couples suggest apparent constraints were in fact context-dependent and selectively overcome."
"male respondents noted for their reactivity, passivity, or laidback nature at home held demanding jobs as management consultants, project managers, and physicians... The traits that likely facilitate their professional success were somehow invisible—or not deployed—afterhours."
Alan noted a similar paradox... “I’m the ideas guy,” he told me, and his wife is the “project manager” and the one to ask “what are we going to do and how [would] that actually work...” Their arrangement is “funny,” he admitted, because Alan works full-time as a project manager
"Because their inequality was not & #39;about& #39; gender, and thus not in conflict with their egalitarian identities, de-gendering helped preserve marital harmony... when one partner veered off-script and insisted on connecting inequality to gender, conflict loomed."
"she insisted they split pickups and drop-offs equally... Stephanie was proud of this arrangement: & #39;We’re equitable,& #39; she argued, & #39;because I put in all this work to get that way.& #39; Yet Carl seemed frustrated by his wife’s vigilance, which he implied was a waste of time"
"By de-gendering their labor allocation, couples open a path through the contradictions of our incomplete gender revolution, exerting control at the narrative level even as more fundamental changes remain unrealized. De-gendering also appears to preserve marital
harmony..."
harmony..."
And there& #39;s so much more in Allison Daminger& #39;s brilliant work. I don& #39;t think she& #39;s on this hellsite. https://scholar.harvard.edu/daminger/home
Read">https://scholar.harvard.edu/daminger/... it people! https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122420950208">https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/1...
Read">https://scholar.harvard.edu/daminger/... it people! https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122420950208">https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/1...
