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Those of you who& #39;ve followed my own personal "journey" as well as theatre life, will know that I& #39;ve been in a depression since May 31, 2019. On Wednesday, I felt a change of colour. Today, 16 months since when it began, I can say: it has passed. #ShentonStageMentalHealthDiary
It& #39;s scary to post that, because it feels like it is tempting providence. But I& #39;m happy (in every sense!) to admit to myself -- and the world -- that there& #39;s been a change. It has been a long, patient wait. I have, throughout this time, been working actively to change things.
I& #39;ve discovered -- and started working -- a second Twelve-step fellowship that deals in family-of-origin trauma; but I& #39;ve also been spending lockdown doing a lot of service: giving back that which I& #39;ve freely received. And that& #39;s been life-enhancing and sustaining.
But also, as the world has moved into a place of great uncertainty with #COVID19, and I& #39;ve lost my main distraction and passion, namely the theatre, I& #39;ve also been forced to find out that there& #39;s more to life than just the escape valve I usually use to avoid it.
Strangely, all of this has coincided with a big change in my professional life: there& #39;s more uncertainty than ever there. But given that I simply can& #39;t earn a living doing what I used to do, its time to look for other things. (I am still teaching, which I LOVE!)
So maybe I need to do more of that!!! I& #39;ve also (finally!) taken the step of having major spinal surgery -- three separate operations, including a 4 hour one -- to fuse three discs in my back. I& #39;m still in recovery from that -- but at least it& #39;s done!
So, finally, thank you all for allowing me to be honest with you all -- and supporting me - whether it is sending me a daily picture of a bunny, or other kindnesses. We are all in this together. Thank you for being there for me. I will try to be here for you whenever you need it!
