Thanksgiving is particularly bittersweet for some members of the LGBT community because it’s a day we surround ourselves with our chosen family who loves us unconditionally after being rejected by our actual blood relatives.

The older I get, the more I reflect on how bizarre it is to be gay. Not in the sense identifying as queer is inherently strange, but more so the challenges you experience as a direct result of being something so absolutely inconsequential to the well-being of others.

This week’s Supreme Court confirmation hearings reminded me how LGBT existence always seems to be up for debate, and in the crosshairs of legislation. Really think about that.

My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years, and I have yet to meet a single member of his family because they reject homosexuality with every fiber of their being.

I don’t say that for pity. I say it because it’s frankly wild to think about.

I skipped entire Thanksgivings because I didn’t want to deal with homophobia from my family. In retrospect, I did so because I didn’t want to grow into loving them less. It was better to treat them like a time capsule, their love perfectly preserved and untainted.

For the record, my folks and siblings eventually came around. My dad, brothers and sisters tuned into my wedding via FaceTime. Still, the older I get the more I realize how much time was wasted on something so trivial.

I think the one thing a decent portion of LGBT people regret the most is the time that was robbed from them after basically being coerced into existing something they are not. And again, for something so small in the grand sum of life.

Which is why calling sexual orientation a “preference” is especially disrespectful. There’s no reason anyone would chose to be something that would attract so much hate and harassment, from micro to macro levels of life.

Back to the original point of this thread, Thanksgiving is a day a lot of LGBT folks spend with intimately close friends while watching their family and others with their families enjoy the holiday together.