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This is going to sound brutal, but I& #39;ve got a mental health mantra that& #39;s been working for me for a while: & #39;Work with the dog that you& #39;ve got& #39;. Let me explain:
My dog Phoebe is a rescue, and she& #39;s an anxious babe. She& #39;s dog reactive. Windy days are hard for her to process. When we first got her, we believed that if we trained hard enough we& #39;d be able to fix her.
Of course, that didn& #39;t happen. What did happen was we got more discouraged about her ability to calm down, and sensing our anxiety about this, she had even more trouble.
A & #39;misbehaving& #39; dog is often seen as a failure of its owners to control it. But we didn& #39;t set Phoebe up. She& #39;s lived most of her life elsewhere, having experiences we don& #39;t know about, and we can never really understand why she is the darling, anxious little bug that she is.
Then I came across & #39;working with the dog that you& #39;ve got& #39;. Basically, she& #39;s never going to be a dog we can take to the dog park, or most cafes, or have play dates. And that& #39;s actually ok.
What she CAN do is work with us within her own framework. Other dogs are stressful, cool - we& #39;re working on just not reacting to other dogs. On paying more attention to me than to the distraction. Building a relationship where she knows that we& #39;ve absolutely got her back.
How does this tie back to my own mental health? The & #39;dog& #39; I& #39;ve got to work with is only capable of so much. But I& #39;ve always got its back. Can& #39;t get out of bed today? That& #39;s okay. Can& #39;t think straight? We can work with that.
Expecting to wake up with a different psychology/brain/framework is unreasonable. I need to celebrate the small wins (fed myself! Showered! Laughed!) and accept the parameters I& #39;m living within.
Lesson: treat your brain the way I treat my anxious dog. Have empathy and patience with it, because everyone& #39;s doing their best. The end.
Thanks for sharing your stories and love. If you& #39;d like to take some further action, please consider donating to @POTHAustralia, who do incredible work to keep vulnerable people and their pets together in times of hardship.
