I’m writing an essay on why a victim-survivor may not want to proceed with the criminal trial regarding their rape.

During the course of reading & writing it I’ve never felt more affirmed in my feelings & choices regarding my own experience with rape.

While I’ll always support anyone who wishes to go through the CJS, it isn’t a viable or healthy option for many.

It’s further complicated when you were friends with your rapist. When you loved them & knew their own horrid past (while never excusing their actions).

Collecting sources for this essay has introduced me not only to ways in which I could’ve been further harmed by the adversarial, sexist justice system that would seek to undermine my truth,

But I’ve also been introduced to the healing possibilities that come with victim-survivor led narratives. Justice for my rape doesn’t involve the CJS or any form of ‘just desserts’ - it’s about me & my health. And actually, I think I’m doing okay.