It’s #PinkShirtDayNZ when we talk about what we can do to #StopBullying. I want to have a brief kōrero about the ecosystem of bullying and restorative justice. 1/

Very few people become bullies for no reason. Bullying is about power. Bullies take power from other people through insults, threats and violence. But most people aren’t just bottomless pits needing to devour endless power. 2/

In most cases, bullies are taking power from others because someone or something else is taking power away from them. This could be through disrespect, neglect, abuse, low self-esteem and even more bullying. This cycle may be a chain with many links. 3/

Bullying is an ecosystem. The best way to disrupt it is to find an alternative source of power for the bully so they don’t have to take it from others involuntarily. This may be exposing and repairing broken relationships, finding a person’s strengths and 4/

providing opportunities to show them off, getting mental health support and education for trauma or mental illness that drains self-esteem or power over their own lives, and many other things. 5/

These aren’t rewards for bullying. They’re proven, effective ways to interrupt the motivations for bullying, which directly benefits those being bullied as well. 6/

Another strategy to interrupt bullying is a clearly stated and posted anti-bullying/anti-harassment policy with enumerated protections and consequences. Some people don’t recognise what they’re doing as bullying until it’s articulated. 7/

Some people may know that it’s wrong to abuse someone for their race or gender, but never learned that it’s not okay to make cracks about a person’s disability or accent. Policies may be the first time they learn that these actions hurt people. 8/

These policies also have to have clear consequences that are applied consistently. However, especially in a school setting, these consequences shouldn’t include involving law enforcement. Because there’s a general racist bias (often compounded by gender and ability) 9/

the actions of Black and brown people are often misread as threatening by white people, both peers and teachers/admin. Cultural competency and a commitment to ending the school-to-prison pipeline is central to anti-bullying measures. 10/

Another important technique to stop bullying is bystander intervention training. This not only equips people to recognise and interrupt damaging behaviours (beyond bullying as well), but it boosts their confidence to feel like they can make a difference. 11/

A final word: it is NEVER appropriate to require a bully and their target to “get in a room and talk it out/apologise” as long as the imbalance of power hasn’t been addressed. That’s not what “restorative justice” means. That just inflicts more trauma on the target. 12/

I hope there’s something in this thread that informs you or gives you a new perspective on bullying and how to end it. I truly don’t believe there are kids who are “just bad.” Behaviour is a response to stimulus If we can change the environment, we can change the response. /end