At the end of September we had rent due and no money. We set up a go fund me and raised some money, but we got 4 small loans and paid rent.
Didn't expect husband to still be sick and not earning money. The loan payments hit the account today and we are negative.
Panic Attack is

Real, I can breath but my heart is running so fast! I am controlling my breathing but I feel like I had way too much coffee!
Husband is supposed to get chest x-ray today, no gas money. He wants to drive 4 days straight to earn money, which will kill him.
It's his birthday.

I got another loan for him, but only one third of the negative balance. I am filling out more loan requests and submitting documents for disability, they want his doctor's name.
I am going to be sick!
This is so unfair. He has worked since he was 14 years old, and he has more

Than earned retirement. 2008 killed his 401k, took his home, reduced him from a manufacturing production supervisor to a line assembly technician.
He earn all credits for SSI but has to age into it.
By the time he ages into it, he'll be dead at this point!
I have an AA degree

But I also have learning disabilities that make getting hired difficult plus a baby and special needs child. Unless he stays home with kids, because babysitters make more than me per hour, I can't afford to work.
I am applying for work for home jobs, but a lot are fake or sales.

I have yet to be offered a job interview. I feel like I am about to be widowed and I can't do anything about it. I can't even be there with him.

I'm sorry, I just need to vent. I have no one to talk to and my poor Twitter friends have endured so much of my complaints already.