1 “I don't want to be a soft man. How do I change?"

There are really just two steps to change: see the need & take action.

You’ve already taken the first step if you’re asking this question. Now you must take action...but where do you start?

Anywhere, really. Just start.

2 Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.

However, you must be careful not to overexert yourself if your self-discipline is weak. No one jumps from a 150 lb to a 300 lb benchpress overnight. It takes time to develop that strength.

3 A little self-discipline will turn into a lot over time.

J.C. Ryle says: “So it is with habits: the older the stronger — the longer they have held possession, the harder they will be to cast out. They grow with our growth, and strengthen with our strength.”

So take action.

4 The key to getting into spiritual, physical, relational, and financial shape is developing discipline through the consistent application of small actions in those areas.

But a word of caution...

5 Your efforts to change won’t always be well-received due to crab mentality. Think of crabs in a barrel. As one attempts to escape, the others will pull it back down.

As you change, people will become envious or self-loathing, so they’ll look for a way to take you down a peg.

6 Crab mentality is just envy.

The 1828 Webster's defines envy as:

“To feel uneasiness, mortification or discontent, at the sight of superior excellence, reputation or happiness enjoyed by another; to repine at another's prosperity.”

Envy is the primary motive behind “haters.”

7 There is no avoiding haters because envy lives in the heart of every man.

At some level, we all are envious haters.

Envy leads to disorder (Jas 3:16).

So escaping the crab barrel (aka reordering your life) begins with repenting of your own envy and covetousness.

8 Here are a few things that’ll help you manage crab people:

First, don’t tell people you're making changes. Just do it. Pr 14:23: “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”

Acta non verba.

A mere talker invites mockery, but it's hard to mock a doer.

9 Second, sudden drastic changes not only tend toward failure, but also draw unnecessary attention to your efforts.

It'll trigger crab people. I’ve found that small changes are best because they go unnoticed until significant things have been accomplished.

10 Third, don’t talk about any of the changes you’ve made until you have established a true habit.

It’s easy to lose 10 lbs, go to the gym for a week, and practice family worship for a month. Big deal.

It's easy to hate a braggart, so don't be one.

Focus on the work.

11 Finally, do all your work unto the Lord. Those that live for the praise and notice of men will never escape the crab barrel. The little verbal jabs of crab people will injure their pride, and cause them to tumble down. Not so with those that labor for God...

12 Your efforts to change will be derailed if you get caught up with proving yourself to crab people. Don't try to please them. Pursue change in a spirit of humility for the glory of the Lord:

“Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you" (James 4:10).