This is example #1872 of what I mean when I say that civility is a weapon of white supremacy. https://twitter.com/senti_narwhal/status/1316379426892984320

1) White woman explicitly states that she read the requirements that made it clear they were looking for pieces from non-white women, and says, “I don’t think they apply to me.”

2) The woman reviewing her submission responds by reiterating that they had set a hard boundary, and says it is offensive for her to transgress it.

3) White woman responds by yelling at her because being told her behavior is offensive is the REAL offense.

4) White woman then lies to her Facebook page and says she was treated horribly for mistaking the acronym, and does not mention the boundary transgression she committed.

5) She also chides the responder for “making assumptions about her”—when the responder only referred to her observed behavior—and insists she should have read the piece and given her a chance, when the white woman had not even done any reading on the organization itself.

6) In the replies, people are already chiding @senti_narwhal for being impolite because she (a) drew a firm boundary about resources earmarked for uplifting women of color, and (b) firmly told the white woman that it was offensive for her to transgress those boundaries.

7) But we all know how this plays out. If @senti_narwhal had not explicitly said, “this behavior is offensive, cut it out” this woman would have continued to argue that she should have access to these resources (which we know because she still did).

And when it inevitably still exploded for some different reason, the same people would chide @senti_narwhal for not having the backbone to say “no” more firmly.

You cannot win against the civility police, so set your boundaries in the way and the manner that best safeguards your own peace of mind.

And remember: the civility police do not care that this woman *explicitly acknowledged* the boundary before trampling on it, and that she *did not mention this* in her post about it.

Those things are not civility violations to the civility police.

Finally: I often see people saying “I wish I had the confidence of a mediocre white man” and look, that’s good, but don’t pick up his lack of boundaries.

Also? She’s done this before. She does it regularly. This is not her making a few mistakes. It’s a pattern of behavior. https://twitter.com/kellygwriter/status/1316479357540589568

Notice how she pushes hard on her vulnerability (“I’m being berated for being nearsighted.”)

She is portraying weak white womanhood and demanding protection through the laws of civility.