Thread by @lwandar545, The will of God hurts When My Mother died . I [...]

The will of God hurts

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When My Mother died . I didn& #39;t cry at All. My Mother wrote a letter of What I will do and not do. She knew it was going to happen. I was 18 ,siblings 7 and 8 . Turned out my Dad had her followed all Week. 7 Gunshot infront of us, she was gone. My Grandma died at the same day.

Its been 7 years of watching her going to the Dr twice a month. That& #39;s how we kept her. Because I didn& #39;t want her to die only knowing pain that her children all died. Her Husband never wanted her. So I made sure she was Happy. So she can forget that pain .

I wanted to do so much for her. When I went Home in May. I made sure for the first time we had Ceiling. For the first time we had Tiles. I built an outside kitchen for her. Renovated Everything . Spoiled her so crazy .

We used to laugh at that Heineken White Gogo on the advert with a Recliner couch and she would say she wanna feel those kinder couches. I bought her one. Renovated her Room.

Would always tell her to not die on us so soon because I wanna do so much for her. Thats why I took on this Overseas Teaching job.

She would always say "Hayi ntombi ugqibile , alikho ikhehlekazi elonwabe njengam "

Yeah The Dr wamvala ekutyeni ezinye izinto but How can she not. Ekhule engazazi. And ezi afforda ngoku.

Anyway she got really sick in 218 . Suffering from Ulcers. So I was scared she was going to die . So I did this 98th Birthday party

Yes. She was 100 this year but she was the only Parent We were left with.

I don& #39;t know how I will raise a 15 and a 14 y/o without her.

I& #39;ve never really stayed with them for a long time.

I started working at 18. While I finished my studies.

We were just joking that in December , she has to be on an Aeroplane nakanjani. For her 100th Birthday as We didn& #39;t have a Celebration because I was renovating endlini.

When I left Last week . She asked me to move my wardrobe in her room so I will have my own space and not sleep with my Lil sister. She made a Lame excuse ba No. She just wanna watch over my clothes as my siblings might wear them. Uzozigada. Anyone I was confused but I agreed.

When I was stuck in S.A and not getting Paid . Girl bendixhelela inkukhu every weekend even though we had meat everyday . Xandizohamba wandixhelela iGusha saying "Kaloku wena ungowalapha , azanga bakufuna kulo Tatakho asizobanyanzela ke. Mna ndiyazikhulisela" .

We had so much Fun I even forgot I was broke and stuck .

She lets me leave sana, within 2 days of Arrival. She gets rushed to Hospital. Fast forward Day 5 . She is gone.

How do I lead this family at 26? . How do I mother these children with an age difference of only 10 years.

What Hurts the most is that I might not even bury you Mamqade . Yhoo Timing yakho sana !! .

RIP My Last Love.