I know a Girl personally who was from a happy hindu middle class family. She married her M colleague against her family's wish but the family later agreed for her happiness. (That's how our families are they love us way more than anything even religion).
Contd. https://twitter.com/ZParwal/status/1316367126203047936

She had to firstly change her name & religion to become eligible to get married to this guy. Obviously for "love"
She wasn't treated with respect in the new family so She then had to start wearing burkha, reading namaz, keeping fast during ramzan etc etc
She was still treated..

as an outsider in the family.
I saw that girl when she just got married and then 3 yrs later, I couldn't even recognize her! She had changed soo much!!
A typical Marathi accent was changed to typical urdu dialect.
Her eyes had those big dark circles coz she was constantly..

Under stress.Was not able to perform well at work & she went through a miscarriage for which she was blamed.
The Guy was asked to marry someone else! And he kept mum throughout coz how can he speak against his family!
So what if he had married someone & Changed her whole life!

She luckily later had a daughter.
didnt get the chance to even name her!
problems for her didnt end here
The family wanted to put her daughter in a madarsa or call someone to teach her at home.She wanted to send her to a Co-ed school and have a normal life...

She wasn't allowed to take her daughter to meet her family coz they are Hindus & the kid might learn their culture.
When i met her on the road the kid saw ganpati bappa's idol & started shouting deva ganesha. The girl stopped her & then awkwardly told me tht if she says this at

home I'll be the one getting scolded.
So not just she left her culture her beliefs but she has to make sure that her daughter has to do the same.
Let me remind you again.. this marriage was for "love".
The next time I met her she started crying speaking bout her daughter...

being brainwashed at home and turned against her! The kid won't even speak to her mother properly.
Spoilt with over pampering just to keep her "close to fam" & away from her mother.
Why? What did the girl do wrong?
She married a literate guy & wanted a normal life.

Too much to ask for Right?
I met her last year & she was still struggling between what's best for her daughter & how to survive in a family which will probably never accept her.
My question- Where exactly is "love"? What's the contribution of the guy?

A zara can happily be zara all her life.
But Anita has to become asifa & still won't be accepted.
The reality is often not that sweet.