This damn tooth. Let me tell you about the 30 minute roller coaster ride this tooth took me on. It starts with a math game....

When I picked my boy up from his afternoon program, he was playing a math game. “Come on, we need to leave, turn the game off and we’ll play at home!” (On the laptop.)

We arrive at home. The game has logged him off. Do you think I know the password? Of course not.

Cue the waterworks, and pouting behind the couch. Mom fail. So I do what I do, and start making him laugh.

He pops his head up with a giant, two-front-teeth grin, then heads back down. It was like slow motion. I saw it. His little buck teeth catch the back of the couch and RIIIIIP.

Tears, blood, spit. My 4 year old laughing (that’s something I should revisit). His front tooth hanging on by a thread. Now, he’s had a loose front tooth, but this mama knows it’s the other one that’s been loose. This one was ripped almost clean out, with no warning.

After some deep breaths, a cold paper towel, and motivational speaking, he wiggled that sucker right out. Success!

This is about when my husband left with the oldest for soccer practice. Remember this.

“I’m gonna go rinse my tooth off!”

“Don’t drop it down the drain.”

More tears. Cries of despair. “This is the worst day of my life!” <— actual quote. Several minutes of reassurance that the tooth fairy would in fact come once we write her a note explaining what happened.

No, we aren’t done yet, folks. Because he went back in the bathroom and FOUND that *fucking* tooth lodged in the drain. Close enough I could reach it with tweezers.

I grabbed my tweezers and ever so carefully......dropped the tooth down the drain.

This is when my husband calls. “She only has one sock, we’re headed back, can you find the other one?”

Sure yeah I’m not doing anything.

Between the tears of my 6 year old and the maniacal 4 year old I still need to revisit, I find the sock. Well, a sock, whatever. Back to the tooth.

I do know enough about plumbing to know it’s probably in that curvy part of the pipes, so I unscrew it and THERE IT IS!

“Mom, do you think it’s clean enough?”

YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT IT UNDER YOUR PILLOW.

Husband calls. I grab the sock and start to head to the driveway.....“it’s ok, she found it. She was sitting on it.”