I’d love to watch a ‘Gordon Ramsay Kitchen Nightmares’ version of the Australian Music Scene.

“You wanted time spend $25/unit cost price on your run of Merch, and you put yourself one $25000 of debt AND YOUVE ONLY SOLD 200 tickets to your whole tour?”

“You never sent us your show artwork, tech specs, guest list, stage plot OR rider - and your complaining that THE SUPPORTS DIDNT BRING ANYONE!”

“Your management/agent is booking a 2000+ cap tour, but only paying openers $150 per show, with 4 guests? ARE YOU MENTAL?”

“YOURE TELLING ME, YOU COULDNT GET 100 TICKETS SOLD ON A SATURDAY NIGHT FOR YOUR EP LAUNCH, BUT YOU ARE UPSET THAT YOU NEVER GET A FESTIVAL BILLING, WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON”

“No cases for your guitars or drums? You’ve spent THOUSANDS *bangs fist on bench* on your equipment, BUT CANNOT GET SOMETHINB TO PROTECT YOUR FUCKING SHIT, you Wankahh”

“Manager, ay? Tell me what about the band you’ve actually managed? Your ego is bigger than your workload. You’re a glorified FUCKING MUPPET”

Prog Band: heres our concept record about the evolution of man through the eyes of a tree that the first fish sheltered under

PR person: here’s my latest press release for the band
“... The sophomore EP from Fresh take on the genre, taking the local music scene by storm with their unique sound. Coming from 45 different local bands...

“Nah, we don’t have a band email, and we don’t believe in Social Media.”

“Wait - let me get my head around this. You’ve employed the services of someone who’s consistently ripped people off, treated employees & colleagues like garbage and am wondering why you aren’t getting anywhere?