Adam Driver characters’ coffee orders: a follow up thread that nobody asked for but everybody needs

Pale takes his coffee with 2 sugars. What the fuck is all of this extra stuff about? Why are there so many options these days? Whatever happened too good old plain coffee? (If you’re lucky, he’s drinking it in bed the morning after )

Dan J*nes drinks a black eye (coffee with 2 shots) unless he actually slept well. Then it’s just a red eye. He uses cream, but only to cool it down so he can drink it sooner.

Sackler didn’t like coffee for years because one time he mixed regular coffee grounds with hot water and thought it was gross. Eventually he discovered bodega coffee, which he drinks black.

Allan knows what he likes, and he’s not afraid to go for it. He gets a strawberry mocha with full shots of both flavors, whip, and drizzle. He says every part of life is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed, including coffee.

Paterson takes his coffee with a little cream and a little sugar. He needs something to cut it a bit because he’s soft and just wants the simple pleasure of a warm drink in his polka dot mug.

Ronnie drinks his diner coffee with one sugar. But just the one cup. He doesn’t want it to keep him up at night.

Altman never developed a taste for coffee. If you take him to a coffee shop, he’s probably just going to order a hot chocolate.

Paul Sevier drinks a cappuccino. He says it’s like drinking a “coffee cloud.” He doesn’t specify when ordering, but if asked he prefers whole milk and a bit dry. He always tips his barista, who always flirts with him even tho he doesn’t notice. She wants his number(dick).

Charlie gets an oat milk latte from local independent coffee shops ONLY. He’ll settle for Starbucks in the airport when flying to visit Henry, but mutters to himself about how bad it is the whole time. This is his face if it’s not exactly 145 degrees.

Rick drinks tea. He loves a good oolong, but he’s not too picky as long as it’s ethically sourced. The owner of the local tea shop asks him to test out new loose leaf options they’re thinking of offering.

Daddy- I mean Flip drinks whatever coffee they have at the station. He prefers when it’s been sitting a while and has that burnt old coffee flavor. And we love that taste on his lips.

Clyde drinks Folger’s or Maxwell house. He measures it in scoops and never cleans the pot. He thinks gas station coffee is a treat. When he drinks his first pot of French press he confesses his love.

Jamie, hipster fuck, drinks pour overs. He does single origin only, light roast only because “otherwise you roast out all the nuance.” He can’t actually discern any of said notes, he asks the barista or reads the bag but will always act like he noticed them himself when sipping.

Kylo Ren drinks black instant caf. He likes when it’s bitter and burns his tongue because it fuels his hate. (It’s actually because he doesn’t think he deserves to enjoy things, but he’s not ready for that conversation)

Last but never least, Ben Solo. Ben will drink literally anything Rey makes him, but he prefers it with lots of cream and sugar because he’s had enough bitterness for one lifetime thanks

Need more coffee? Check out the SNL orders https://twitter.com/trashpile11/status/1302340376045465608

And now that you know everyone’s drinks and can get them into bed, check out what to call them when you get there https://twitter.com/trashpile11/status/1311420848641904646

Last minute bonus headcannon:
I genuinely believe that Adam himself drinks a plain latte, maybe almond milk because he’s probably lactose intolerant. If he’s feeling fancy he gets a shot of vanilla or hazelNUT.