When autistic people are overstimulated/overwhelmed for any reason, it’s very common for us to lose the ability to speak.

Many of us become completely physically incapable of it. For others, it’s possible to speak, but very difficult and distressing.

This often goes along with a shutdown, which is an “internal” meltdown. In those situations our motor control may be impacted too.

But sometimes, it just happens randomly. We might be okay emotionally and able to type or gesture, but still unable to speak.

Some autistic people never speak, some of us speak only in echolalia, some of us are semi-speaking, and some of us are usually able to speak in the ways NTs do.

There’s a very wide variety of speaking ability in autistic people, and it often changes in each person over time.

For those of us who can usually speak in a way that’s deemed “normal,” episodes where we lose speech can be confusing to people who aren’t familiar with the fact that autistic people’s speech is highly variable.

People might get frustrated with us for “ignoring them.”

When I had meltdowns and shutdowns as a kid, I’d lose the ability to speak and move.

So I’d sit immobile, unable to follow their instructions while they got increasingly angry with me for not complying.

They didn’t know that I was physically unable to answer or move.

I’ve had a few shutdowns since arriving at college, and my friends have had some too.

Because they’ve learned from me, they’ve gained the vocabulary to describe their experiences, and they’ve stopped forcing themselves to speak when it’s painful.

That makes me very happy.

We communicate using the “Emergency Chat” app on my phone (or a notes app), through gestures and signs, and through body language.

Abby and I want to start learning more ASL so that it’s easier to communicate when one of us is having a shutdown or can’t speak.

Basically, if nobody has ever told you this:

It’s okay to not speak.

You don’t have to force yourself to speak if it’s difficult or painful. There are other, equally effective ways to communicate.

And sometimes it’s nice to just exist in silence.