Okay so I think twitter is safe again so I can tweet about my bitch ass cousin that moved in with us this summer fam. Y’all buckle up, aight? This is the story of Neville

So home boy Neville is 4 years younger than me, we grew up together. My mom left my dad when I was 6 and I lived p much with Neville and my aunt while mom went back to school. Around that time, Neville had a little brother who’s deaf and had shit tons of cancer.

First off I would like to apologize for not being on Twitter this summer. Home boy was kicked out from home and found me via twitter and DMed me “yo can I move in”, so of course I can’t come on here and bitch about him for the 2 3 months he was here. Back to the story.

Home boy comes from my family, so home boys pretty messed up, last time we talked he blackmailed me over pops’ will and I never replied to him because If being married to a man that speaks Arabic has taught me anything, it’s “don’t negotiate with terrorists” lol

So we come from a background of “this big dramatic family thing happened and now everyone involved hates each other, here’s a million stories to it, let’s never talk about it again so next time we’re all in a room, it’s hella awkward and weird” right like shits weird fam

So I had this big idea when I got home from my mission, he and I would be roommates in Utah till I married Christian, but pops died and there was this big will drama shit so that didn’t happen. What I remember was I got a pro bono attorney to represent me to my aunt (his mom)

And Neville texts me “call off the attorney or Utah is off, that’s your choice” and at the time I freaked out, but looking back, it’s like “oh yes please put your entire future in my hands via blackmail, okay bro” so I legit never texted him back and then he never moved out lol

Which is not my fault. Just that’s kind of his story is all, so then I grow up and I marry Christian and I hear about the family thru the grapevine, Neville got an associates, whatever. So Neville is oldest, then there’s two younger ones. Also random fact, Neville told me once

We almost lost one of the wars because of the “everyone stops shooting and we all come out and sing Christmas carols together”, yeah, Neville said during that, they came around from the back and almost beat us the next day so like what the fuck you syndicalism chad

Anyway so we don’t talk. We text occasionally, and he gets on twitter and off of twitter every 3 months or so, which is why 1. None of you have heard this story before and 2. Why I am now on private lol

Neville DMs me one day end of June “hey Menley, I got kicked out, can I come live with you and Christian for a little bit till I get on my feet”, and reader, fuck me dude. Like I was pumped to just take care of him and hear the tea on my bitch aunt but also get him the fuck away

From the toxic shit. So like bitch, I’m trying to build a fucking gaming PC here so like I’m not buying him a goddamn plane ticket. His parents usually get into arguments with him and say “pitch a tent in the yard, or get out”, and this time he just said fuck it and left

Also thanks for liking these as I go along guys hahah it’s reminding me like omg I miss my twitter friends. Okay so he gets dropped off at the police station, because like idk, they’ll take him? But like it’s so he won’t get trafficked I guess, but like he’s white so they won’t

Like arrest him for no reason so the fuck Aunt Marge? Okay so he gets an Uber to the airport and calls me and we tell him like “buy a ticket” and he calls me like freaked out “I found the cheapest one, it’s in 3 days, I’m good just can you pay my baggage fee” so we wire him $50

He gets the ticket and lives in the airport for 2 days with virtually no food, and has a bag of clothes and a 1k laptop so like the boys got plenty of time to apply to jobs and watch porn.

He gets here and he’s starving. Note, at the time I have my best friend also living with us, her name is Hermione and she moved in with us unofficially because of laundry shit and corona virus. She’s great, she’s a friend of Christians. In the car, Christian tells Neville

“Alright, you’ve got 2 weeks to find an apartment and a job or you’re out of our place too”. So Neville is SCARED of Christian, it’s great. He’s only used to passive aggressive abuse, so this upfront expectations was something new. He spent the first 3 days constantly looking

For jobs, right like 8 hours a day, I’m not kidding because I was at work in the same room. He gets TONS of interviews and slowly we start finding apartments for him, but he like can’t find one because no job. He gets a job at Burlington and apparently it’s a shit job, okay my b

But dude it’s a fucking job so get off your ass. We drop him off at work and he tells me “they promised me 12 hours a week so that’s enough to live to pay rent” and this whole time I’m like “okay so what you’re gonna digest the air you breathe then too?”

Home boy instantly fucks his sleep schedule. “Oh I don’t work again till next Friday” so fuck with the sleep schedule. He lived on our living room couch sleeping all goddamn day long for days. Then would go to work, then come home. We kept an eye on him and taught him some good

Roommate tips like “dude if you can’t have regular milk, fucking tell us instead of spending 45 minutes in the bathroom preforming fucking pomp and circumstance.

We made meals occasionally, but had a general rule of eat what you find, and home boy lived off of fucking popcorn, granola bars, cereal and raisins. He lived off our snack drawer and would come to me afterwards “hey we’re low on groceries” lol motherfucker go make a sandwich

We find him an apartment on the CORNER of Wolverine Crossing. RIGHT FUCKING THERE. He could walk to the UVX station, then go anywhere in Provo. We paid his first 2 months of rent, and his deposit, and the girl who sold us the contract was so sweet to give a months rent too.

He moves in August 15ish, and we’re absolutely done with him. By this time, he’s lost the Burlington job, right. He went in one day “I’m gonna negotiate with them to get me on a set schedule” and walks out “they fired me for being too slow” like BITCH YOU DONT NEGOTIATE

He’s a bottom level employee they just hired 2 weeks ago, that no one even knows. He shows up for his 12 hours a week of work and goes home. You’re not going to go anywhere, just keep applying to jobs. But no, Instead of applying for more jobs, he decides to sit and watch anime

For fucking days on end and then when he gets fired freaks out that he’s fucked. Which he wasn’t yet.

Home boys story keeps getting worse

Neville is like “well shit I signed this apartment contract but I can’t pay rent what do I do, I’m good till x day” and so we’re like “suck dude”. Like if only you knew back in June that you’d be living on the UVX line and would need a job for full time work plus benefits at $12.

Life is so hard for Neville. Okay so home boy is driving us nuts, he just watches anime all day “I applied to every place on the UVX line twice”, bitch bet. Finally I dropped him off at Elwood Staffing “come home with a job”, and he got one in south Provo!

It was a warehouse job that got out at 11, but still a job. He didn’t have a car, took the bus down there but the busses don’t run that late. He goes back to Elwood the next day like “hey can I have another job” and they send him a temp job at UVU. Home boy has like 3 weeks to

Make rent, and he gets anxious, stays up all night and sleeps thru his appointment so he doesn’t go to his UVU job and he’s too embarrassed to show his fucking face at Elwood staffing again, for good reason. So I’m like “bro, apply for unemployment, apply for food stamps” like

Obviously you’re not desperate enough or you’re not hungry enough, I don’t know but whatever it is, it’s not getting fixed and you need some goddamn therapy.

So it’s now what, September? Also mind you, how much we’ve done for this kid. We’ve paid for
-at LEAST 12 rounds of groceries
-4 months of rent
-weighted blanket (ty twitter)
-dishes
-sheets, bedding
-toiletries

Like, I’m honestly thinking of writing my aunt and him a letter

Like an itemized bill or something

Help me out with that later, Twitter

So we have done so fucking much for this kid and he has literally done nothing but eaten snacks, yelled about “someone move their laundry”, stalked around the kitchen, put a scale in the bathroom to measure his gains, and has refused any or all advice or tips we’ve given him, and

Only accepts gifts of food or cash. Literally.

So Neville lives in his apartment and uses my amazon prime and buys a $200 Japanese screen 8 panel so he can have half his bedroom to himself so he can watch anime without being judged and it’s literally the reason he can’t pay rent. His parents send him $200 in September for

Rent. I asked him like “so how’s October rent looking?” And he says “well I have $150, so I should be good, that’s just like 2 days of work and I’ll be good”, mother fucker. You dumb mother fucker.

So I can’t even text this part. I have to just give you guys screenshots.

So at this point, I had mentioned like “I wonder how much it would be to put you on our insurance for you to drive my car to work, if it meant getting you a good paying job somewhere”, and then I told him NO because 1. Expensive, and 2. He’s not driving my car are you fucking

Insane? He has done nothing to show any effort at all since he got here. So, that’s the context here, he thinks he’s gonna hire an Uber to his work once he gets a decent job.

He literally has the audacity “fuck I might have to go home aaaaaah”

THIS BITCH. Literally I muted him, I turned off my phone, I had to go like walk a mile I was fucking angry. I was so fucking angry. He has absolutely no respect. He also had a new cell phone that my mom was paying for - so he could get away from his parents toxicity.

He just throws everything in my face of his professional victim hood. At this point if he finds this thread I don’t even give a fuck, because he’s an entitled little shit who thinks the world owes him a living, and to find prosperity you have to find a secret cheat code to life

I am so goddamn angry. I still am so fucking angry. So I finally just stop texting him, like bro you gotta sit in your shit.

He moves out from his poor apartment complex ($350 a month btw) middle of the night and says “Ima just take the hit to my credit score for awhile”. And what pisses me off even more is when I took him to a goodbye lunch, I asked “so what did you learn?” And he’s like

“I learned our society is really cut throat and we’re a nation dependent on independent modes of transportation” MOTHER FUCKER MISSED EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN LESSON I SHOVED UP HIS ARROGANT LITTLE ASSHOLE

I’m so angry.

And twitter, you know how you say “omg I’m so angry” but you pussy out in real life? If he ever finds this thread or my aunt or family, maybe we’ll have it out at Nana’s funeral. But I won’t apologize and I will call him a selfish, spoiled, entitled little prick to his face

I’m angry on twitter and real life, I’ll tell ya that much. Jesus H Christ, we were pretty good friends but what the actual fuck is wrong with this kid? I thought him sitting in his own apartment would make him say “oh shit yeah let’s go do some shit” but HE LITERALLY DID NOTHING

For months. And months. He’s going to wind up just like my uncle. So now, about that itemized list, like I wonder could I mail him some sort of itemized list just to hold him accountable in some way. Like THE AUDACITY. Because he goes home and thinks now, literally

“I would have made it if Menley had given me her car”, “I would have made it if I had a car”, and now, “I would be able to move out but I ruined my credit score so now I have to live with my parents forever”

I am so angry. I can’t even describe to you how angry I am. I had a mental breakdown right after, and I’ve been on a paid work medical leave ever since, and I go back on Halloween. Fuck Neville. Fuck this whole experience. Fuck family. God dammit.

Okay so now talk to me, first off twitter hi hello I missed all y’all, how y’all doin? Also please validate me and tell me I’m a good person, please. Also, please tell me I did the right thing, and also talk to me about what the pros and cons of an itemized bill would be

Someone tag @krisis86 in this so they can read the shit show of my summer, I feel like it may make them feel a bit better (this is only to give you some light hearted bullshit drama in this trying time, if you need a good distraction. You are a badass.)

Like this is to show Kris like “hey want to read some random drama that has nothing to do with me? Here!!” Please don’t think I’m trying to one up you. This is just here if you want to read stupid shit and laugh I love you Kris

Shout out to my friends who have been with me thru this, LITERALLY ALL OF YOU. I may have texted you late one night with small details, that was to do with this. Thank you for being there. Shout out to @aliahdomino for not giving up on me because I could never hang out with her

Like Aliah I’m still in love with you I’m just dealing with a little bitch but I love you and @riverhawkes I’m obsessed with my sibling who gives me random drama to distract me from my own and for @ChrisMESA96 who grabs my boobies all the time and

FUCKKKKKKK. I feel so much better

Also here’s my Marauders Era Harry Potter Roleplay Discord Server :) https://discord.gg/qqZWXfv 

Random thought - my sister in law came over to give me cannabis gummies and he ate all of them because they helped his anxiety attacks like bitch swerve also you woulda failed those new job drug tests and you would have deserved it

This bitch found this thread, and I’m so glad I was hoping he would. Bye, Neville! Hope you find your dad.

Home boy texted my mom all this shit about me and of course she didn’t believe him