*huge breath in for long thread*
1. Christine McVie deserved the cranberry juice meme, and basically anything over Stevie Nicks. https://twitter.com/TheDylanEnigma/status/1311356727971983360

2. You only like Nick Cave because of the same reason you like Twin Peaks: you like the mood, and not the stuff. Which i think is fine, but his nouveau riche goth storysongs are fucking abysmal.

3. Frank Black's solo music is better than the Pixies' library.

4. Mojave 3 > Slowdive

5. The only thing worse than Wilco is Billy Bragg.

6. One of the best songs ever written is "Microphone" by 98 Degrees.

7. The Strokes only made one good album.

8. Busta Rhymes is the best rapper of all time.

9. House music rules. *dodges guitar pedal* but it's also not jazz and shouldn't be taken seriously. *dodges Pioneer DJM*

10. All white rappers except for two thirds of 3rd Bass are bad.

11. Anyone who hates the Eagles has either only ever heard "Hotel California" or is quoting a mediocre movie and making that their entire personality for the day.

12. Amy Winehouse's whole thing was cringeworthy cultural appropriation and the worst music ever made that was fuelled by heroin.

13. Sublime are easily the worst band in the history of music and nobody is even close.

14. Jagged Little Pill is a terrible record.

15. Carly Rae Jepsen is fucking boring.

16. Soulwax are better than both LCD and Daft Punk.

17. Canadian music quality suffers because of the grant system.

18. Lenny Kravitz is good.

19. Americans said that "disco sucks" because of systemic racism and homophobia, and had to take a ten year break from it and have it re-sold to them as "jock jams" so they wouldn't feel weird about liking it again.

20. Michel Polnareff > Serge Gainsbourg

21. The two things that killed guitar music's relevancy, likely forever: the fact that 99% of it is made by white men and Jet.

22. You're an asshole when you riff on Steven Tyler for looking like a grandma. Dude has been wearing women's clothes his whole life; let the man fucking live out loud.

23. The cultural centre for music in Canada, particularly live, is Calgary.

24. That said, the music coming from Quebec is more interesting than the rest of the country Voltron-ed together.

25. When you make fun of Nickelback, you sound like a fucking tapeworm.

26. Kate Bush is terrific but making your whole personality about liking her is as basic as doing so with Audrey Hepburn or hanging a "Le Chat Noir" poster in your kitchen.

27. Spiritualized are the worst band of their genre.

28. Liz Phair is a sellout.

29. Yoko Ono's music is better than the type of person she is.

30. Ska is fun.

31. Adele's music belongs in a Botox clinic.

32. Stan culture is idiotic, but Beyonce fans have the most brain worms of all the varieties.

33. Daniel Ek is right more than he's wrong and artists complaining about streaming are being sold lies to them by the people who are actually taking their money.

34. The best hip hop album of all time is "6 Feet Deep" by the Gravediggaz.

35. The worst REM song is "Losing My Religion".

36. The gloomy nineties killed fun in music, particularly in North America. If Prince debuted today, we'd all laugh at him like we did the Darkness.

37. Mary J's verse washes every other rapper on the remix of "Touch It".

38. Sugar is better than Husker Du.

39. Billy Corgan is one of the best guitar players of my generation, and still it's totally fine that he put down his guitar for the mellotron.

40. Grizzly Bear were terrible.

41. The only reason the Hives were popular in America was because Americans were frightened by the socialist themes of the International Noise Conspiracy.

42. Die Antwoord are the Vengaboys for edgelords.

43. Jermaine's music is better than Michael's.

44. @Bandcamp is the only notable outlet doing any actual music "journalism".

45. Eric Alper is mining you for your security questions.