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im extremely tempted to download every dating app i had in my phone before bc im feeling real reckless and desperately want to fuck any man and every man i can purely so my masculinity feels validated despite knowing i would most definitely regret it all 
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i hate how i went from depending on the verbal validation of my masculinity from fem aligned folk like my life depended on it to this. like...tf am i supposed to do lmao. at least all it took was someone fem aligned to call me cute and i& #39;d be on cloud 9 for a month
but i get called a girl Once™ by a man and it fucks me up to the point where i dont even want to talk to anybody or go outside for the next month. id gladly take it if it was the other way around like it used to be. at least when fem folk called me a girl it wouldnt hurt as much
idk what the fuck is wrong with me lately but im practically foaming at the mouth in frustration bc normally getting misgendered by men would make me laugh and move on but now that im basically only attracted to men this has stuck w me longer than it should have
can i just be attracted to literally anybody else of any other gender again? not only do i hate being attracted to men this hard for the first time in my life, i also feel a like im being a misogynist by wanting to fuck only men rn :/
its probably internalized homophobia but who knows. all i know is that i feel bad about how im cis assumed most of the time so therefore it makes fem aligned ppl scared of me and i feel bad not being attracted to them either bc it feels like im not giving them a chance.
feelings r weird and i hate having them and i hate not being able to verbalize them properly until its too late.
i should have worded this thread better by saying non men but its whatever twitter doesn& #39;t have an edit function and nobody is going to see this anyway so
