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Signs that you're attempting to fix your partner:
A thread.
A thread.
·You're attracted to their baggage and problems, you daydream about how beneficial your presence will be on their path.
·You don't like most of their choices; friends, hobbies, clothes, career.
·You feel this constant sense of urgency, they have to change soon.
·You don't like most of their choices; friends, hobbies, clothes, career.
·You feel this constant sense of urgency, they have to change soon.
·You police their choices, you closely monitor their progress.
·You're rarely truly proud of what they achieve on their own.
·You no longer ask if they need help, you do things for them.
·You're forcing more than supporting and encouraging.
·You're rarely truly proud of what they achieve on their own.
·You no longer ask if they need help, you do things for them.
·You're forcing more than supporting and encouraging.
·There's this underlying belief that they're incapable of doing what's best for them.
·You often play the therapist, instead of listening and giving them space to learn and heal at their own pace.
·You seek for compliance and forget that agreeing to disagree is a conclusion.
·You often play the therapist, instead of listening and giving them space to learn and heal at their own pace.
·You seek for compliance and forget that agreeing to disagree is a conclusion.
·You try to get inside your partner's head to "help them see the light" so they can change. You obsess about it.
·You forget to ask what they want, you move straight to improving them.
·There's an imbalance of control and power in the relationship, you make all the decisions.
·You forget to ask what they want, you move straight to improving them.
·There's an imbalance of control and power in the relationship, you make all the decisions.
·You put conditions on the relationship "if you really love me.." and assume your partner's behavior has everything to do with you and their love for you.
·The present moment is rarely satisfying, thinking about how they will be in the future is more soothing.
·The present moment is rarely satisfying, thinking about how they will be in the future is more soothing.
·You re-invent them, you have a plan. The future of the relationship is based on how much they can change.
It's good to know we can help someone change, IF they share that desire as well.
It's good to know we can help someone change, IF they share that desire as well.
