By the way this option has a precedent. When Tafa Balogun became IG, he set up a handpicked team that went around raiding other police checkpoints (often with cameras). They would search the pockets of the police officers there and if they found money, arrest them https://twitter.com/doubleeph/status/1316279564931346433

It was quite fun and it did work for a while. Look, I know Tafa Balogun eventually went to prison for stealing money meant for police salaries and pensions but we are discussing options here so let’s focus please

This leads me to a funny story I may have shared before but is worth sharing again. During this period I was in University in Nigeria. One way the police reacted to Tafa’s regime was to constantly keep their bribes in a can or box somewhere away from them. Never in their pockets

Near where I lived in Uni, there was a big junction which was perfect for setting up a police checkpoint. Like clockwork, they would arrive around 4pm and collect bribes till it got dark around 7pm. The most junior officer would take the cash every 15 or 20mins and put in a can

The can was hidden in an overgrown bush something like 100yds from their checkpoint. Anyway, one fine day, one boy who lived in my building - high on weed - came up with what he thought would be a funny idea

Our building overlooked the junction so we saw everything they did. His plan was that as soon as it got dark, he would go round the back and steal the can of money while someone looked out for him. Ever the law abiding citizen, I thought this was a bad idea but I was overruled

After observing them for a few weeks you could predict their whole process. Anyway the guy managed to take the can stuffed with money and made it back inside the building. All that was left was the fun part

At closing time, as usual, the policemen sent the junior guy to go get the can. They’d normally sit there and share the money using their torchlights. We watched him enter the bush looking for the can. We watched him go back to report it was missing. We watched them berate him

We could see the guy pleading with his superiors. Eventually they all marched into the Bush looking for the can. They formed a cordon round the spot and swept inside it, just like good policemen do in the movies

And then the unbelievable part that still collapses me in laughter till today everytime I think about it - they set the bush on fire. We watched on laughing at first until the joke was no longer funny. The bush was right beside our house and these guys were ready to burn it all

How exactly this would have helped their quest remains a mystery to me. But they burned the whole thing down and just got in their pickup and left