for me being trans means i can't stop both-sideing-gender issues lol

it's also weird to think about like, how much does stuff apply to my past life?

i was in a situation vaguely like this and i had ZERO interest in sex with the girl and certainly did not feel 'entitlement' to something i did not want https://twitter.com/ellegist/status/1315953283735916546?s=20

so yeah i had this platonic crush on the girl who was kind of my best friend for a while and she didn't appreciate it and i did become kind of bitter over it after a while

it's kind of embarrassing to think back on, but it feels like i was mostly mislead by a culture that generally sort of implies that doing stuff for girls will get them to like you back.

she also wasn't clear enough in her refusal (but admittedly, i was clueless).

(like there was this whole thing where another friend of her would tell me to back off and back then it felt like she was just jealous and i didn't believe her)

i think my problem with this 'Entitled To Sex' thing is that it frames the discourse in an extremely unhelpful way that's mostly useful to complain about guys but only ever makes them feel bad or get angry at you for suggesting it

OTOH a lot of guys *do* hold toxic attitudes towards women and it can be absurdly difficult to get them to acknowledge this

this is explicitly even true for the 'good' guys, to a depressing extent

i'm currently in a weird situation cuz i think i might still be more attracted to guys sexually but i've also been So Turned Off by the constant low-level toxicity i've received from guys that i might just mostly date women from now on?

(benefits of being bi)

but yeah -- at least IME -- i've also over-estimated the amount of high-level toxicity based off of internet stories. it happens sometimes but not nearly as much as you'd think.