Getting over a breakup// getting an ex back thread

This will be a redpill for some. Redpills are very difficult to swallow.

Whenever someone breaks up with you, they don't do it out of nowhere. They've been thinking about it for months, weeks, or even years.

There is no logical convincing you can do to get them back.

They want space and the mature thing to do is to give them exactly what they want.

After the breakup, you probably asked them to stay with you. You pleaded and you apologized for what happened.

Doing this initially is a net good.

What you don't want to do is remain attached to them and continue to beg and plead

Being needy is extremely weak and unattractive.

They'll be nice to you at first when you beg and plead. They won't be direct about their wishes, but they do want to be away from you.

They don't want to hurt you. If you beg too much,they'll be mean to you about wanting to be away from you. Ex: threats of calling the cops.

You also don't want to make them jealous.

Don't let her see that you're already with another woman. Don't post it online or let her friends see you with another woman.

This will show that you've already moved on, make her feel bad & not want to get back with you. Can backfire.

What you want to do is allow for them to miss you by not contacting them.

This is the mature thing to do. This is not a tactic to get her back, even though it does greatly increases the chances of them getting back with you.

Plus you want to focus on yourself at this time

You are respecting her wishes to be without you and you are giving her what she wants.

This allows her to go through the stages of a breakup.

Initially after a breakup, the person who dumped you is only dealing with it as a concept. They are seeing what it's like w/o you.

Allow them to go through the stages of a breakup and don't contact them.

1. Relief -initial relief of having space. Lasts about 2 weeks but depends. You WANT them to get past this phase ASAP.

2. Curiosity - they wonder where and how you've been

3. Concern - dumpers are usually arrogant bc they're the ones who dumped you

Now they're worried about you

Now they take the possibility of losing you forever seriously

You haven't contacted them. You've been working on yourself. Work on yourself and allow them to be concerned

4. Consequences - Now they have to come to terms with their actions. Either they've lost you and they want you back OR they don't.

Plain and simple.

They WANT you to miss them even if they won't take you back. That's arrogance. Let them be concerned. No contact.

Things to do:

-Get in contact with your close friends, not mutual friends with her.
-work on yourself and have new experiences
-control your thoughts and allow that energy to move. Walk your dog, hang with friends, hit the gym, things to keep your mind off her.

Things NOT to do:

-Talk about her with mutual friends of hers. Do yalk to your own friends. Word gets around.
-post on social media about your sadness or as a way to get her back. take a break from social media if you have to
-contact them. even for special events
-be neurotic

Don't overanalyze the situation. The situation hit you out of nowhere and now you're trying to piece back the puzzle.

Is she cheating?
Who's she talking to?
What if she forgets me?

These are all pointless questions if you had a good experience with her. Time is investment.

No Contact can last up to months before they ever hit you back.

No Contact can also work very effectively, as fast as a few weeks.

The point, is you're doing No Contact FOR YOURSELF.

Prove to yourself you can be amazing without her.

Time and patience are on your side.

You'll feel a sense of loss whenever you use the No Contact Rule.

By taking the loss, you're winning.

You're being mature and you're giving them what they want.

You're doing yourself a favor. I know it'll hurt to not be with them. Trust me. I've been there.

Become stronger.

This is a hard pill to swallow. This is medicine for your soul. Spend this time of no contact to work on yourself. You are doing the mature thing and you're healing

No contact is the best option for you, despite how difficult it is

Allow yourself to feel pain, to heal & to grow

Follow and retweet if you found this thread to be helpful.

If you've already made some of these mistakes, forgive yourself and move on. No point in beating yourself bc you didn't know.

P.S. You are welcome to DM me about relationship advice and how to up your charisma.