I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girl’s shoulder today https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😆" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und fest verschlossenen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und fest verschlossenen Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😆" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und fest verschlossenen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und fest verschlossenen Augen">. I immediately fell to my knees, as the immense rush of dopamine signaling my impending earth-shattering orgasm made me cry out so loud it deafened everyone within the immediate vicinity. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😕" title="Verwirrtes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Verwirrtes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😕" title="Verwirrtes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Verwirrtes Gesicht">(1/5)

What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell in my life capacity to have produced, shot out so hard that it crippled my testicular valves by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😣" title="Standhaftes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Standhaftes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😖" title="Verblüfftes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Verblüfftes Gesicht">. (2/5)

It vaporized the girl before cutting through the structural support beam at uni as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historic nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in it’s path, caused my uni to collapse. (3/5)

Every female in the Greater London area fell pregnant with my children https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤰🏾" title="Schwangere Frau (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Schwangere Frau (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)"> (Preggo https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😝" title="Squinting face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Squinting face with tongue">). When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I laid dying under the rubble of my uni, I rested easy https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">. (4/5)

I rested easy knowing my offspring would repeat the same actions as me. Living as an involuntary celibate is difficult. I hope this thread enlightens people to the struggles we face every single day. Make an involuntary celibate’s day! Give them a shoulder squeeze! Anything helps