another day. another apple press conference.

all pretenses of being a press conference are gone.
this is now a short film.

"new way to interact with music at home"

man, it's a smart speaker. amazon has done this before. YOU'VE done these before. why the lies.

sorry i hatewatch these. a lot of snark might be coming in this thread. please mute the conversation if you wouldn't like to see it.

why am i doing nothing better with my time?

because life.

the joke here is, they've said hey siri about 12 times and it didn't even make me flinch because i'm too broke to have anything siri in my house

though with voice recognition and distinction, shouldn't be a problem for apple users too. i hope google and amazon are watching.

"YOU CHOOSE when apple saves your audio recordings"

bb why is that even an option to begin with

because they don't make money off of user data to subsidize their devices a la bezos. asked and answered.

TIM
STOP
SAYING
IPHONE

This is a drinking game now.

TIMOTHY

TIMOTHEUS

TIMOTHEUS COOK

zoning out coz 5G is science fiction at this point

the first 5G application touted is.... staring at a game on your screen that you paid money to watch in a stadium.

cool.

ok new iphone is here.
wait. it still has a notch?
lines look nice.

Super Retina XDR sounds like an anime special attack

every year there's cutting edge display protection technology. every year there's an annoying colleague who bought and shattered it within a week of release.

"the instant 5G speeds matter, the iPhone starts using it"

on WHAT NETWORK?

chip gobbledygook time
it's new and fast
the other one was old and fast
other one bad
new good

that's about all i got

the cameras are always good. no snark there.

kay stopping this thread.

this live snark tweeting thing used to be fun back in the day. back when we weren't all constantly and consistently surrounded by a pandemic and fascism that's snarking at us. also i'm bored.