Read on Twitter
Despite having a really productive day today to start the week, just feeling this weird wave of dread creeping in.
I've spent the last several years trying to quietly recover from health problems, but in the process I'd really fallen to the wayside in my career and it...hurts. A lot.
So for the first time in those several years I finally feel like getting back into everything I loved so much again is actually possible...but that doesn't mean the pain and doubt hurdles aren't there anymore.
For the past 8-ish? years it feels like I'd been dragging myself through a marathon on a broken leg. Barely getting to each checkmark and afraid of the fallout if I quit. But I did irreparable damage and I regret not tapping out when I should have so much.
It's why I yell (lovingly) at friends when I see them not acknowledging their burnout. I don't want to see others go through the same pain and regret I did.
But *I'm* also still here despite everything and just looking around like...I finally gave myself permission to heal, so what comes next?
There's no way I'm going to throw out all that I DID work so hard to achieve, but I also don't want to go back to doubting myself so much that I let myself get stuck in work I was absolutely unhappy with in the long run.
That's the biggest thing I AM done with.
That's the biggest thing I AM done with.
I've definitely been worried I might be pigeonholing myself and be passed up because of it by other places, but I've had more regrets pushing aside each year what I've always really wanted to do for decades now and I can't have that eating away at me anymore.
