This morning my mother wrote to ask if I& #39;m still on my meds and adhering to best practices for Bipolar II
I assume it& #39;s because I posted the video of me getting threatened by AR-15 guy to Facebook, which I knew she wouldn& #39;t like for many reasons
It& #39;s also high-risk behavior
I assume it& #39;s because I posted the video of me getting threatened by AR-15 guy to Facebook, which I knew she wouldn& #39;t like for many reasons
It& #39;s also high-risk behavior
One of the worst things about having a mental illness is that everything you do is suspect. When people don& #39;t like something you do, they can blame the illness. This isn& #39;t the "real you." Must be time for a med adjustment.
It robs me of agency
It robs me of agency
This isn& #39;t the first time this has happened. She isn& #39;t the only person who& #39;s done it. It hurts every time
I do it to myself too. Every thought is suspect. Every mood. Am I happy or hypomanic? Am I sad or crashing? Is my brain working, or do I just think it is?
Am I crazy?
I do it to myself too. Every thought is suspect. Every mood. Am I happy or hypomanic? Am I sad or crashing? Is my brain working, or do I just think it is?
Am I crazy?
Today, thinking about whether she& #39;s right to ask, I suddenly realized it doesn& #39;t matter
Don& #39;t get me wrong. Meds and maintainance are real important to keep me functional and not a miserable wreck of a person. I could never have done what I do now unmedicated. I tried for years
Don& #39;t get me wrong. Meds and maintainance are real important to keep me functional and not a miserable wreck of a person. I could never have done what I do now unmedicated. I tried for years
But I& #39;m always going to be someone with Bipolar II, even when under control with medication. That& #39;s not an inauthentic part of me
If it means I have a higher risk tolerance than most people? Seek out exciting situations? Make important decisions quickly?
That& #39;s actually OK
If it means I have a higher risk tolerance than most people? Seek out exciting situations? Make important decisions quickly?
That& #39;s actually OK
Why am I going through my life trying so hard to be some model neurotypical person? I& #39;m not one. I& #39;m never going to be one
I should be striving for a functional and happy life, whatever that looks like for me. And you know what? I have that. Right now
I& #39;m not sorry
I should be striving for a functional and happy life, whatever that looks like for me. And you know what? I have that. Right now
I& #39;m not sorry
As I contemplate the "post" button, I ponder the ramifications of talking openly about mental illness while the eyes of Andy Ngo& #39;s goons are fixed firmly upon me. I anticipate muting comments on this thread quicky
Fuck it. None of you people matter to me
I know who I am
Fuck it. None of you people matter to me
I know who I am