I don't like to bring up past times I was wrong and in need of explaining, because I don't want to re-hurt anyone, but I feel like this one is important:

I didn't used to understand how someone could be nonbinary AND a man/woman, and I'm sorry I was a "No?? Does not compute??" butthead about it for a few weeks there.

I was confused and wrong, and while I did eventually shut up and listen, it took me longer than it should've.

I mention this now because it seems like that dialogue is going around again, and you can absolutely be a nonbinary woman or a nonbinary man or a nonbinary anything, really.

The identity words that most make sense to YOU are valid.

I do not see any value in policing the terms people use to describe their own identity: if a combination makes sense to you, then that's good and amazing and it doesn't need to "make sense" to a Majority Vote Of All The Queers to be valid, or whatever. Your identity is yours.

I know for me, I'm autistic and I get hung up on word definitions because I get panicky if a word feels squishy. And I know I hurt some people when I was going "No?? Don't understand??" and it felt to them like I was saying "You're Not Valid" and I feel awful about that.

I've learned from that experience that there are times and places to ask certain questions, and that just announcing "I don't understand [identity]!??" at the world can be very harmful to the people who have that identity! Questions aren't magically neutral and contextfree!

Anyway, I've drifted a little from the topic but every nonbinary identity is valid and yes, you can be a nonbinary man or woman or girl or boy, and it's unfair to nonbinary folks to keep having to explain this again when it's pretty easy to research or take our word for it.

(And I say "our word" because, uh, I've only just started to realize that I'm probably a nonbinary boy because there's still some gender-squish in here I don't know how to name, and that's terrifying but also exciting and good.)

I'm stop talking now and go back to fretting over the supreme court.