advice request

if you were a 15-year-old boy who was on the spectrum, caught feelings for one of his only female friends, got led on because she kept dropping "I love you's" and then had her turn around, get a boyfriend...

...and accuse you of only wanting to be her friend to date her...what would be a good thing to hear from your sister who's more than a decade older?

he's reaching out to me and I'm not sure what to say

I remember being that age and adults saying "I promise this gets better" didn't really help

turns out, after more than 10 years of perspective, it's a *really tempting thing to say*

but I'm trying to not downplay his feelings

all I can think of is to validate what he's feeling ("yeah, that's unfair as hell, I'd be mad too"), and redirect him away from obsessive behavior that could get him in real trouble (parents and our other brothers and I are all trying to convince him to not keep texting her)

so far it's been a lot of "yeah that fucking sucks, I remember when X and it was really hurtful" and only a teeny bit of the whole "I promise this can get better"

also may offer to play video games with him this weekend

also made sure to point out how impressed I am with how he's handling it

he's said some really thoughtful stuff in between some choice words for her and the guy she's dating :P

and he's also...talking it out

incessantly, obsessively, but there was a time not too long ago...

...when his reaction would've been violent

also made sure to say "impressed" instead of "proud of"

he tries to act really grown up around me sometimes and "proud of" feels infantilizing

idk how much of a difference that makes but adults who didn't condescend to me when I was that age were Extremely Important