I think possibly the most on brand thread I could do, and which would hopefully lose me all my followers, would be rating the warrant card of every British police force for aesthetic

there’s 48 of them too

well. mute this thread I guess

so a warrant card is a plastic ID card British cops get instead of a metal badge - theoretically you can ask any uniformed officer to see theirs, which, lol - but apart from detectives they’re mostly just used for trying to illicitly get free food off duty

there is absolutely no national standard and so forces with no budget just have to kind of improvise. the overriding theme here is that all of them are going to look incredibly shit, though

let’s start with the non-territorial forces first then

BRITISH TRANSPORT POLICE

please, lads. fellas. please pick one font and stick with it. got a lot of white space over there too. not great

CIVIL NUCLEAR CONSTABULARY

lmao absolutely not. and now we get into the security paradox - theoretically a warrant card is a public document that proves someone’s the real police. but if it’s public then someone might be able to copy it. so the real natsec stuff? no way

MINISTRY OF DEFENCE POLICE

lol. you think the guys who get to carry MP7s around are going to show you their ID? fuck off

NATIONAL CRIME AGENCY

for as much as they hype themselves up as ‘Britain’s FBI’ they don’t like the publicity half as much. funnily enough NCA officers are ‘quad-warranted’ as police officers, immigration enforcement and both kinds of customs officer. no you can’t see it

HM CUSTOMS & EXCISE

okay but you’d think there’d be a good reason why the public should know what their IDs look like, right? no. fuck off, citizen

now we get into the locals

AVON & SOMERSET CONSTABULARY

no luck catching them swans then?

BEDFORDSHIRE POLICE

also don’t like showing theirs
unless they’re dogs

CAMBRIDGESHIRE CONSTABULARY

unusually pointy star there

CHESHIRE CONSTABULARY

once again I can only make fun of the wallet. tasteful tiled background though

CITY OF LONDON POLICE

ugh you just know this is going to be disgustingly fancy because they’re special little boys. they haven’t posted any pictures but their commissioner has walked around wearing a lanyard in front of a zoom lens, so

CLEVELAND POLICE

one of the smallest forces in the country. if you want to see what one looks like just wait until they drop it on the street in front of you

CUMBRIA CONSTABULARY, DERBYSHIRE CONSTABULARY and DEVON & CORNWALL POLICE also turning up nothing, but please enjoy this list of things Devon and Cornwall got stolen

DYFED-POWYS POLICE may be a little behind the times if this is all google turns up

the only way is ESSEX POLICE

I mean. points for a hologram but this looks like a student ID from a college that is about to be raided *by* Essex Police

GLOUCESTERSHIRE CONSTABULARY appear to have gone to a lot of trouble to secure their cards, and then entirely negated it by making a novelty one for a dog. look at those holograms. someone had a budget surplus

GREATER MANCHESTER POLICE learned how to do an image background and the result is pretty nice. officer’s atrocious censoring attempt preserved as posted

GWENT POLICE’s only trace is refusing a FOIA request for one by an ‘M. Card’ on the basis that this was an obvious pseudonym, so I award them some points for cynicism

HAMPSHIRE CONSTABULARY were very lucky to have Police Officer join them. this really is remarkably bare

HERTFORDSHIRE CONSTABULARY, HUMBERSIDE POLICE and surprisingly even KENT POLICE show nothing, but LANCASHIRE CONSTABULARY introduced these braille ones a while back. nice. otherwise a bit busy though

LEICESTERSHIRE POLICE, LINCOLNSHIRE POLICE and even MERSEYSIDE POLICE all turning up blank

the METROPOLITAN POLICE issue a metbadge in a metwallet with a special methologram and it all looks quite smart in my opinion

neither NORFOLK POLICE nor NORTH WALES POLICE were likely bets, but NORTHAMPTONSHIRE POLICE made one for a dog again

NORTHUMBRIA POLICE have the force name on there a couple of times just so as you don’t forget

NORTH YORKSHIRE POLICE frankly biting Lancashire

yeah can I see a POLICE SERVICE OF NORTHERN IRELAND warrant card please?

ha.

ha ha ha, ha

POLICE SCOTLAND might actually be the worst I’ve seen so far. I realise not everyone has the budget for fancy holograms and heat seals but good lord. you can see the jpg compression on the force logo