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#NationalComingOutDay2020 
im no longer required to go in at 10AM, and so, we're going to talk about my coming out journey.
not that anyone asked, but I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
i guess i can write this for my therapist, or in case someone is inspired or whatever. lol
im no longer required to go in at 10AM, and so, we're going to talk about my coming out journey.
not that anyone asked, but I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
i guess i can write this for my therapist, or in case someone is inspired or whatever. lol
first & foremost, "coming out" isn't required, and my heart goes out to those who can't safely be themselves.
you're loved & valid
.
you're loved & valid
.
we're gonna start with my siblings.
it's anticlimactic with them bc i came out to my brother first, then my sister.
both were the same, i was quiet for 20mins in the car before i uttered the words, "i'm gay".
they were both like *look at GIF below* bc they been knew. lmaooo
it's anticlimactic with them bc i came out to my brother first, then my sister.
both were the same, i was quiet for 20mins in the car before i uttered the words, "i'm gay".
they were both like *look at GIF below* bc they been knew. lmaooo
my mom is more complicated.
we used to watch General Hospital religiously together, and at the time, there was this one character (Kristina) who was exploring her sexuality with her female professor.
one day, we were in the car, and i was really tired of being closeted.
we used to watch General Hospital religiously together, and at the time, there was this one character (Kristina) who was exploring her sexuality with her female professor.
one day, we were in the car, and i was really tired of being closeted.
she noticed i had something on my mind, and she asked me what was wrong.
after being silent for like 15mins (it's a theme with me), i told her i was like Kristina.
you know. . .
after being silent for like 15mins (it's a theme with me), i told her i was like Kristina.
you know. . .
her response was typical being that she grew up in a conservative Christian environment.
recited verses from the Bible. told me i should stop so i can get into heaven, and said i can do whatever, but she'll never approve & will have to distance herself.
the whole nine yards.
recited verses from the Bible. told me i should stop so i can get into heaven, and said i can do whatever, but she'll never approve & will have to distance herself.
the whole nine yards.
in response, i did that thing where i tried to amplify other aspects of my personality. it was very much "yeah, but i do x-y-z. being gay is minor".
in hindsight, i shouldn't have to do that because CHILDREN SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO CERTAIN THINGS FOR THEIR PARENTS' LOVE.
in hindsight, i shouldn't have to do that because CHILDREN SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO CERTAIN THINGS FOR THEIR PARENTS' LOVE.
anyways, i was over it, and i said what i said.
it was the next morning, and she called me to her room crying. she said she wanted to go to the casino to clear her head.
for the next year or two, it was as if nothing happened. the references of "a wife" were still lingering.
it was the next morning, and she called me to her room crying. she said she wanted to go to the casino to clear her head.
for the next year or two, it was as if nothing happened. the references of "a wife" were still lingering.
i don't know when it started (maybe within the last 2 years), but the language became more gender-neutral.
it was more "your partner" or "the person you marry".
once she said "i just want someone that loves you and treats you right. it hurts to see my any of my babies hurt".
it was more "your partner" or "the person you marry".
once she said "i just want someone that loves you and treats you right. it hurts to see my any of my babies hurt".
fast forward to now, and the next hurdle was my overt femininity.
this is a smaller hill bc she's coming around faster than the first time.
now, she always make sure i have my PURSE on me, and she even gave me her pearls once (which she sees are for women) when i lost mine.
this is a smaller hill bc she's coming around faster than the first time.
now, she always make sure i have my PURSE on me, and she even gave me her pearls once (which she sees are for women) when i lost mine.
she doesn't know about my growing collection of hoops bc baby steps, but i'm happy where we're at
.
i'll give her credit for growth.
i also recognize my privilege that i have this relationship with my mom considering that 40% of homeless youth served by agencies are LGBTQIA.
.i'll give her credit for growth.
i also recognize my privilege that i have this relationship with my mom considering that 40% of homeless youth served by agencies are LGBTQIA.
you may be wondering why i haven't mentioned my father.
well, that's bc i haven't officially come out to him.
but i have a feeling he knows. LMFAO, i was very much the child with "a little sugar in his tank".
we'll fight that battle another day.
well, that's bc i haven't officially come out to him.
but i have a feeling he knows. LMFAO, i was very much the child with "a little sugar in his tank".
we'll fight that battle another day.
so long story short.
i've been out to my immediate family for about 4 years & i'm more authentic in public except around straight men bc they still scare me ( #homophobia).
that too is slowly changing bc i've met some guys that let me be me (s/o to my MP coworkers).
i've been out to my immediate family for about 4 years & i'm more authentic in public except around straight men bc they still scare me ( #homophobia).
that too is slowly changing bc i've met some guys that let me be me (s/o to my MP coworkers
).
there's probably more i could say, but i've been talking 5ever. i should also sleep for work.
so, if you've made it this far (which i doubt anyone will), thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.
please like, comment, and follow me for more pointless threads. LMAO
so, if you've made it this far (which i doubt anyone will), thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.
please like, comment, and follow me for more pointless threads. LMAO
PS: me & my mommy
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