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(1/15) I posted this on Facebook yesterday and didn& #39;t anticipate the reaction I got from friends and colleagues. Twitter be kind as I& #39;m sharing in case anyone else has struggled with mental health as I have
(2/15)(TL:DR - I get anxiety and it& #39;s made my life hard work. Don& #39;t struggle alone. Talk to someone (anyone) and look after your mental health like you would physical health.)
I& #39;d always had mild anxiety through school and underlying symptoms which I now know as OCD.
I& #39;d always had mild anxiety through school and underlying symptoms which I now know as OCD.
(3/15) It wasn& #39;t until my 2nd year of uni where this became a big issue. I& #39;d been drinking a lot through my first year and I started getting intrusive thoughts. They were so disturbing that it took me around about 9 years to get a diagnosis of what was wrong with me.
(4/15) 9 years of pretty much waking up in a cold sweat every morning, crying myself to sleep and drinking too much to blank things out. Through this time I confided in a few close friends and my parents but aside from that battled it alone
(5/15) (I somehow managed to smash out a 1st class degree in maths, a masters and a decent job too - In some ways I& #39;d compare myself to a high functioning alcoholic)
In 2002 I got a diagnosis of OCD and it was one of the best days of my life.
In 2002 I got a diagnosis of OCD and it was one of the best days of my life.
(6/15 )I wasn& #39;t going crazy after all and a decent psychologist taught me CBT which change my life. I only wish I& #39;d put my hand up 9 years earlier. I also met my now wife that year and she accepted me anxiety and all. Fair to say she saved me from myself.
(7/15) Things were great until about 2009. Kids were both young and work started to get on top of me. I went from loving my job to dreading going to work each day. The business I worked for went through a merger and it felt like every day was an extended job interview.
(8/15) Back to a counsellor to get me through it but it was a sticky plaster until I left that job a few years later.
6 months in to my new job I had a mini break down. I was on a Birmingham hotel room (I was away from home about 2/3 night a week at that point)
6 months in to my new job I had a mini break down. I was on a Birmingham hotel room (I was away from home about 2/3 night a week at that point)
(9/15 ) and took a call from a colleague which probably saved me from doing something stupid. I got in the car, drove home and spent 2 weeks in bed. It was the wake up I needed and I found another psychologist who diagnosed GAD (generalized anxiety disorder)
(10/15) which basically means I worry about everything! CBT again was the result plus medication which I still take today.
Fast forward to now and I& #39;m doing pretty good. I take medication every day and when I come off it I hit a wall straight away.
Fast forward to now and I& #39;m doing pretty good. I take medication every day and when I come off it I hit a wall straight away.
(11/15) I take a very small dose but its enough to take the edge off my obsessions. I& #39;ve accepted I& #39;ll be taking it forever. Exercise helps a lot (except when I start obsessing about my pace and times!) and not drinking this year has made me much more robust.
(12/15) Diet and sleep are also big triggers for me. I& #39;ve also hugely cut back on caffeine which helps too. I& #39;ve also found a job I love, with people I enjoying working with and who accept that I& #39;ll have crap days as well as awesome ones.
(13/15) I still have frequent days where I don& #39;t want to get out of bed or the anxiety creeps up on me over time. Work is still the overriding trigger. I& #39;m a perfectionist about work - but not about much else as my wife will attest to.
(14/15) So that& #39;s my self indulgent story. I can& #39;t emphasize how supportive my wife is or to give her credit for keeping me sane. I& #39;m an ass to live with and obsess over stupid shit. She& #39;s what holds it all together and keeps going with the kids when I& #39;m stuck under the duvet.
