sitting outside watching the rain under sodium lighting and reflecting on the fact that everything i wanted a year or two ago is now impossible and that& #39;s okay
even the cars are sicker now; i hear them sobbing up the hill every day, howling down the pavement, sometimes crashing like awful music. nothing and no one& #39;s received much work since march
all the urban music here is sharper and less kind this year. the trees are happy, and the weeds, but the air has been full of bombs, screams, gunfire, sirens, and the ever-recurrent chorus of rotary wings
one simply disappears after months of listening to bombs large enough to break metal, brisant enough to shred off entire limbs or cave in sternums, especially when they move around you invisibly wherever you walk. a common enough experience for an urban girl this year, i suppose