here to say that i hate the way the church glorifies suffering, especially needless suffering

“here’s a story about a lady who gave her entire savings to build a temple, the savings that was supposed to pay for surgery to restore her eyesight”

“here’s a story about a family that was asked to pay more in fast offerings than they were paying for their mortgage”

(oh wait, that’s my family’s story, and when i was younger i thought it was inspiring but now it just makes me sad)

“here’s a story about a mother who decided to carry a baby to term even though she knew it would kill her. it did kill her and she left behind 5 children and a widower. SO INSPIRING.”

im angry that church culture and my family’s culture and utah culture have set the suffering model on a pedestal and see it as something to aspire to

and you can be mad that i keep talking about all of the ways the church has affected me

you can tell me i just lost my testimony or that im apostate

but i will not stop talking about it

the church is just as much a part of my story as it is yours